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What is new in my Life?
I am almost broke. Since January I didn�t make my mortgage payments. My credit Union, my mortgage lender, threatened to put me for a foreclosure. I still own my property taxes. For two days, what I am working, I manage to pay my credit cards and utilities.
I received my tax return, but, for some reason, only half what I expected. This helps me to stretch some agony a little bit longer.
I pay for a gas and food by credit cards. I hire attorney to help me with my mortgage, but he was paralyzed by my enemy right away. He makes a call to my sister from his office in my presents, but call was not connected. My life likes life in the �paradise�.
I discover some time ago that cameras were installed in the unit on the second floor under mine unit, and recently I discover that this unit is for foreclosure. Very possible these people have the same problems with payments like mine. It is more impotent to show to the public what is under my skirt than let people work and live.
One day on the library parking lot police officer threatened me because I touch his car by my car�s door. I never understand why off duty Chicago police officers are in trouble; right now I understand they threatened people that they are police officers. Almost like home; don�t touch these people they have the weapons. I don�t touch anybody. This off duty police officer was waiting for me in his car. I touch his car; car was not a new and had a lot screeches; this screeches was mine.
Still some police officers checked speed of my car on every traditional route what I am taking. In a while I am going to have a new speed ticket. Life is like nightmare.
April, 11 2012

Virtual Love Affair

I was born and use to live in Ukraine a part of the former Soviet Union. When soviet system collapsed, I came to United State in order to have a little bit more comfortable life. For past four years life put me in very difficult circumstances; I handle this mess sometimes better, sometimes worse.
I am wondering why am I in this hell, and who created this hell to me? All my life people were envy that I live in this world, and four years ago the American network started to create my image as mentally sick, unstable person who doesn�t deserve to live. Almost the same impression was created for Ukraine as country few years ago. Ukrainian president came to Washington D.C. and yelled on the whole world, �Take our nuclear waste; we are so unstable country that nobody can rely on us�. Who wants to create image of the country like this? Who wants to convince world that Ukraine doesn�t deserve to exist on Earth?

Let�s look in detail what have been happened to me.

In summer 2007 I managed to find two housekeeping jobs; one was in the senior living facility, and another was in the country club. Income from these two jobs was covered my expenses.
One day in July coworkers from the senior living facility were running so excited and calling Perfect Guy name. This fuss last for a few days. One day the hall was full of people and everyone expected something. Because I didn�t know all residents and their relatives, who very often visited them, my eyes were moving from one person to another, and I didn�t see anything special.
One evening in the country club during my lunch break young lady was running, laughing, and calling Perfect Guy name. I knew something was set up to me again. I saw two guys at the bar counter, and for some reason a bartender didn�t even look at me, probably, in order didn�t laugh. I usually take a free soda, but I had to skip my drink. After lunch I cleaned my dishes and noticed two women were sitting at the table in other corner of the bar. One of them was actress Kathy Walsh, and another was Sarah, who later was connected to the Perfect Guy by the media. Third woman was singing karaoke. Who were these guys, I didn�t have any idea. All these people were strangely dressed. Men were in the formal suits; women were in the dresses with flower print and had a perfect heir do. (I have been living in United States for eighteen years, and I saw women dressed like these only two times). In summer a country club visitors usually are in the shorts and t-shirts. In a few days I heard on TV Kathy Walsh announced her engagement to some guy.
In a while a lot people were running to the country club, to the senior living facility and were looking at me like at an animal in the zoo. Because everyone sent spell on me, I couldn�t handle this for a long time, and I quitted my jobs.
What was happening next to me and what was showing on TV didn�t match, and I stopped to pay attention for all this mess. But my �fame� just started to rise.
In September I was invited on the job interview, and major idea of this interview was to extract some information about my job on the plastic factory, my problems, and reason why I lost my job. It was first time that I was invited on the interview for a billing position in some place. It was strange that I had that interview, and, obvious, nobody called me back, and nobody gave me that job.
In October I noticed some cameras were installed in my home. The strange car with lenses, which was pointed on the windows of my condo minimum, was parked in the strange place on the bridge close to my building. I went to the police looking for protection. But with flash light police officer didn�t find anything interesting. I hired a professional to look for the cameras, but it was a waste of money. I contacted ABC news about cameras in my unit, but nobody called me back.
Some emails with my name were running around the world. I usually delete all junk mail, and, when I decided to look on them more carefully, I couldn�t find any in my computer and in the �trash can�.
In November I decided to go to the Ukrainian consulate; it was the best idea which came to my mind. Nobody was willing to talk to me in the consulate either.
I realized that this reality show was made on the very high level and nobody in the world was going to help me. I already knew that emails with my name were erased from my computer and, obvious, from millions others. I was glad that happened, and I was hoping that my country stand behind me. But I was thinking about this more and more, and in a while I figured out that nobody was willing to help me at all because our country don�t help people, because our country only use them for some very important high ambitions. Nobody in my life really helped me (I excaudate a little bit here); in major cases people only used me. Nobody was interested in my success in life.
What was really happening? Emails were sent to the millions email addresses and were erased from the millions email addresses. In United States this is the same that from every home was stolen something; this is a crime, and American people is not going to tolerate this. In Ukraine people are not spoiled by privacy. If someone sent email and later erased it, nobody really care; small amount people have a computer and access to the internet; small amount people knew me. In this moment I figured out that it was design to create confrontation between two countries and put everything on me. Who are these people who created this? At least they are not Ukrainians. Ukrainians don�t hold AT&T, Comcast, Yahoo, Hotmail � (major sources of email addresses and internet providers). When I understood what happened, I was scared to death. My bedroom live in the American network is one kind of problem, but confrontation between two counters is a different kind of problem. It is not necessary to be a good politician to know that it is better to be a friend with United States than an enemy. Who benefit from this confrontation? I don�t have any benefits from this; my sister don�t have any benefits from this; Ukrainians, who came to this country recently, don�t have any benefits from this; Ukrainians, who came to this country decades or even centuries ago, don�t have any benefits from this confrontation.
Before put me in the suitcase and dropped somewhere in the mine in Siberia, Ukrainian government gave me on fun, gave all country on fun, gave whole nation on fun in order to collect some money. The soviet socialist system creates leaders like this.
I can admit, people, who created this mess with my name, knew very well where they could grab some money. My knowledge of a law is on the level �What is Good, and What is Bad�. This is a book for four or five years old children on the level, if you broke a cup this is bad, if you said �please� this is good.
It was even more mess with my name on TV; I didn�t see everything otherwise I would not survive. Four years later the American network still is peeking in my home and teasing me.
When I noticed that my nephews on the streets in Washington D. C., I was �paralyzed� completely. I would never put them in any danger. For many years I knew how my sister cared about her sons, and I would never ask them to fight, I would never ask them to go on the street. Who forced them to do so?
For some time I could walk only between my couch and my bed; for some time I couldn�t watch TV at all. For some time some TV programs were blocked from me; for some time stupidity were sent only to my TV set. For some time my telephone was blocked from the connections to my sister, ABC news, NBC news telephones. For some time I didn�t receive my ordinary mail, even my credit card statements were sent back.
But I have to pay my bills; I started to look for a new job. I found a job in the nursing home; and in a while I �restored� my conscious a little bit. The American networks had the new heroes, new guys with their transgressions. (I mean Tiger Woods and Jesse James with their marriage problems.)
People started to recognize me on the street. In one point, it looked to me that people were going to through stones at me, but in a while people became friendlier. Very possible it was something positive about me on the TV screen.
I tried to figure out from people next to me what was shown on TV in connection to my name, but at work nobody were talking to me. My sister lay to me; I am sure she lay in order to protect her children. I tried to ask stranger some questions. I was heard from him all neighboring towns received letter which said don�t buy anything from my store. I don�t have a real store; I just created a web site to make extra income. This information from strangers confirmed that affair with my name is on very high level. I didn�t even ask who sent these letters. It didn�t meter. I really didn�t want to put people in any danger. To whom I would tell didn�t buy something? This can be only my sister or acquaintances. Would they pay attention what I said? No. Who are these so powerful people who created such mess?
But I live among people. From the stranger on the street I heard, �This is a woman from American Airline�. Very possible it was something nasty about me. From a nursing home resident I picked up that it was something on TV about my childhood; very possible it was not only about childhood. Conversation with this woman was like this:
- I know you.
- What do you know about me?
� You were wearing a uniform at school.
- Yes, I did.
She can concentrate attention no longer than five minutes. Residents with less developed dementia didn�t talk to me. One day another resident told me that president talked to people and asked to stop insanity on the network. This woman can concentrate attention a little bit longer than five minutes; it looked to me she told this with some purpose or may be by accident. It was enough information to know that I was in very big trouble.
I didn�t ask anybody to help because nobody really can help me. Everyone chose his or hers own role in this reality show according to his or her point of view on life, social level, the job requirements, moral and ethical values. For past four years I had life that even a dog doesn�t have in United States. All this mess was created in order I committed suicide or someone shot me. I still live in this world, and I appreciate this.
Because I became a center of attention, I started to write on my computer something that not everyone knows. This was not something extraordinary; just I recognized some soviet socialist features in United States. Everyone, who has life experience like mine, probably, saw the same.

Let�s look what have been happened in the world for past thirty years and a little bit before that, and what direction world is going to go.

My life in the former Soviet Union was not better or worse than many others. I always thought I was living in a good country. Right now, if I look at my life back, I am more surprise that I still live in this world.
The highest development in Soviet Union was in the seventies of the last century. At that time I was young, I graduated university, I had a job that I like it, and it looked to me the whole world was in my feet. I was planned to live life that nobody lived before. In my thirties I realized I was not going to live how I want it; nobody needed what I was doing. I stated to enjoy small moments in my life such as a structural or spaghetti code (this is a reference to my job), the virtual love affairs, the kisses and hugs of my nephews, a good meal, good drink, a good conversation... I stopped to pay attention that someone managed to make career and had a more comfortable life.
In the eighties our country started to decline. Mikhail Gorbachev appeared on the political stage with a new direction, with new notions such as �perestroika�, �new thinking�, and �glasnost�. There were abstract words without any deep meanings which the West not really understood. The word �glasnost�� was translated very well as �openings�. This was not a freedom of speech; just government allowed people to know what happened in the thirties and in the fifties. During that time soviet socialist system established its power. Lenin pointed major assignments before country such as to improve an industry, agriculture, and developed a new person. A person with good education and his or her own opinion didn�t fit in the notion of a new person, and million people were assassinated or sent to Siberia for �reeducation�. What happened in the forties during WWII we already knew. Approximately the same �developing a new person� was in the sixties, seventies, and eighties. We just didn�t know it. I read a lot, possible too much, about �reeducation�; and, for this reason, right now I can�t watch any tragedies or thrillers; I watch only comedies or sitcoms.
Gorbachev tried to put some patches on soviet socialist system, but it didn�t work. Many were skeptical about his approach to solve problems; I, personally, was optimistic. I hoped Gorbachev�s changes to economic let us to make extra project, made extra money, and improved our lives. But this didn�t happen.
In a while was a nuclear explosion in Chernobyl. We appreciate all international help connected to this disaster. We appreciate all �Ah!� and �Oh!� which sounded over the world. But if the international community looked on this disaster as a Ukrainian genocide, we would have a different world now. Why do I think it was set up to us? Even Halley�s Comet pointed for disaster in that place of the planet, this trouble was planned as everything else in Soviet Union. It was an article in a newspaper about some problems in construction on the Chernobyl nuclear plant few months before a nuclear explosion. People knew about problems as well as managers. Nothing was done to prevent it. Why? It was a lot reasons for this. There are some of them. First reason, all big plants in Soviet Union were under a Moscow management. And in soviet socialist economic to produce product on a plant, if this was in the industrial national plan, was the law; otherwise it was a subject for a criminal investigation. The managers of the Chernobyl nuclear plant didn�t have right to shut down it; otherwise they would be charge for breaking the law and sentenced very severe. Second reason, because all profit went to Moscow, managers didn�t have any money to fix a problem. Third reason, the managers in Moscow knew about this but didn�t want or were unable to fix the problem. Very possible after disaster was a criminal investigation and managers was sentenced for a crime. (I really don�t know how all this finished.)
In a while the Berlin Wall collapsed. This topic was discussed during our lunch break something like this:
- Gorbachev was to Germany last week, and today it was in a newspaper the Berlin Wall collapsed. He let them to do it. (These were my remarks.)
- Why he let them to do it? Germany is an independent country; Germans can solve their problems without us. (These were thoughts very intelligent young guy.)
- The next step is going to be two countries will create one Germany. It is not normal one nation has two different countries.
- Why it supposed to be one country? These countries were built on the different ideology; they can�t be together; it is unnatural to create one country.
- What is more important an ideology or a decent life?
Right now the Western and the Eastern Germany are one country and twenty years later economic still is not equal on the West and the East. It is reason to say, economic in Eastern Germany was developed much better than in Soviet Union.
In the eighties Soviet Union had a typical government crisis when the top society (administration) didn�t want to live any longer like that, and the lower society (everyone else) couldn�t live any longer like that. There is according to the Lenin�s theory of the government crisis which was in Russia before the revolution in 1917. Why the top society didn�t want to live any longer like that? Because they had all privileges, but didn�t have more comfortable lives than others. Because eighty percent, what people created, was wasted by the government; it was not decent life for anybody. An average American family has much better, more comfortable life than administration in Soviet Union. Why the lower society couldn�t live any longer like that? Because government didn�t let people live and work, because work didn�t give basic for living such as place to live, food, and because employment didn�t make any difference in people�s life, all these created big frustration among people. There were indications soviet socialist system had very big problems.
The Soviet Union started to collapse. How this happened? The prices were raised on food for two or three times. Increasing prices led to inflation. Because nobody could keep up with inflation, all saving accounts were closed. Currency was exchanged overnight. Who had a job could change money at work; who didn�t have a job went to the credit facilities and stand in the long lines to receive new bills. Usually elderly people keep money under the mattresses, and they didn�t have chance to exchange them. They even died in those long lines. This is very good example how our soviet socialist system cares about people. In a while Soviet Union was destroy completely, all independent countries were created. All big industrial plants were shut down because connections to Moscow were destroyed, and industrial connections between the plants were destroyed. Over fifty present people lost their jobs.
People had chance to fight for a better life, people made some noises over the world, but right now, it is clear, better didn�t come. At least borders were open and people had chance to have a piece of land for gardening. Many in the administration knew ahead that would be a big declining in living in the country and did small things that let people to survive.
Some people had chance to leave the country. I was one of them. Between to be hungry and to be full, I choose to be full.

Right now I have been living in United States for eighteen years. When I came to United States, I saw a rich country, very proud people. For everyone my house was my castle; people had rights to bear arm, and didn�t touch anybody. I saw a country selfish individuals, who were working hard, created a very prosper country, and were very proud of their lives.
In the news I more paid attention what was happening in the former Soviet Union. I heard Reagan�s �Mister Gorbachev tear gown this wall�; this was about the Berlin Wall. I didn�t hear these words in Soviet Union. What I remembered from Reagan that people in Soviet Union destroyed soviet socialist system, but it is better if they stay together; in United States many nations live together, and in Soviet Union many nations have to live together too. In Russia and later in Soviet Union many nations were together for centuries, and this was not working. Right now there are independent counties, and twenty years later, after gained independency, we can say this is not working either.
In the nineties it was very interesting program on TV about Russian�s bacteriological weapon of mass destruction. A person was infected by cocktail of three (or even more) diseases and died. This gave base to create extremely deadly infection. I remember the nurse, who maintained a source of infection, whose face was as a mask and didn�t show any emotions. This face looked like a face of a robot, and her life looked like a life of a robot; it was trained to perform some functions without any fillings. From her face I could read that she didn�t care about life at all; today she was still alive; tomorrow she would be dead, and this was not matter to her. The same nurse face like a mask without any emotions I saw many years ago in the university�s clinic, when I was a student. That woman was a nurse during military action in WWII. These two women saw a lot in their lives; they even were unable to show emotions anymore.
It was very difficult to watch this program about bacteriological weapon. My thoughts went from one direction, why this information was shown to the public, to another, there were some people who wanted to destroy a soviet communist evil. For some reason, I didn�t see people who want to destroy soviet socialist system not next to me, not on a political arena.
During the Clinton administration I heard on TV to keep money in the foreign banks; to put social security on the stock market. It was very strange thoughts to me because, how I know, United States is very stable country. My knowledge of economics is not on very high level, and I didn�t have money; all this was not very important to me.
In some point I tried to improve my life and didn�t have time to watch TV. Because I didn�t succeed a lot, I could not find anything better to do like spend hours next to the big TV screen in my living room.
In a while I noticed that county hit a �Ha! Ha! Ha!� direction. There are some examples of these �Ha! Ha! Ha!�s. The list can be much longer with much better explanation; I just try to highlight some features.
- This is a war in Iraq. �Ha! Ha! Ha!� Nine years later this mocking costs thousands of lives, ten thousands of wounded, and eight hundred billion dollars. Nobody even counted losses in Iraq. At least it is a hope that something positive will happen in Iraq after the war.
- The ten Commandments are broken. �Ha! Ha! Ha!� The Geneva Convention didn�t apply in this case sounded like an echo of the same �Ha! Ha! Ha!� Who is going to decide if a law applies or not? The Geneva Convention was created to prevent WWIII. But the American network is talking openly about a new world war. Why very powerful people push whole world to disaster? Who are these people?
- He thinks he is a president. �Ha! Ha! Ha!� The president Obama had hard time to have all information about war in Afghanistan from the Pentagon. The same �Ha! Ha! Ha!� can be referred to other presidents as well.
- The girl wants to be marred. �Ha! Ha! Ha!� This is about me. I never suffering that guys didn�t pay attention on me. �If you are a bad dancer, the pants always bother you�. (These were words of my basketball coach about our excuses for a bad game.) This phrase is about me and guys. During this difficult time I was extremely tanksful that I don�t have a family. I am not sure I would handle this mess as well if people close to me were in danger.
- Who is more corrupt the U.S. Senate or UN? �Ha! Ha! Ha!� To corrupt Ukrainian government is a piece of cake. (For accurate translation the last four words from the previous sentence have to be replaced by �very easy�. This remark is for everyone whose English language is not perfect). �Ha! Ha! Ha!� Ukrainians think they elected a president. The last election in Ukraine was under UN supervision. In this prospective chance that I survive is very slim.
This is one more �Ha! Ha! Ha!� from the gossip in Soviet Union. �Ha! Ha! Ha!� Forty fourth president of the United States is going to be the last American president. �Ha! Ha! Ha!� Right now Barack Obama is forty fourth president of the United States.
The U.S. is still a democratic country and have two major parties Democrats and Republicans, Senate, House of Representatives, and President. People have rights to create parties, to elect Senators, Congressmen, President or reelect, recall, or impeach them. Right now people elect intelligent, strong presidents who can make influence on the events in the country and in the world.
During the Bush administration was financial crisis, and banks had to be bailout. Many didn�t like it, but this measure saved the American financial system. What would happen if financials system collapsed in the same way as this happened in Soviet Union? It would be disaster for everyone; all American middle class would be under a poverty line. Right now elderly people complain they don�t live on the interest from their money any longer, they have to live on their savings (principal). If the banks collapsed, would not be any interest or any principal. What would happen with social security if this money was on the stock market and market collapsed? Many people would be starving. These traps were put for financial system during the Clinton administration or even earlier.
If financial system collapsed, a free transit for passengers would be necessities, and Illinois ex-Governor would be a national hero with his prediction for disaster. (He offered a free ride in public transportation for seniors; even many of them have enough money for living and for transportation.) The same was in Soviet Union. Inflation took all money, and public transportation for free was necessities. Some people still managed to keep their jobs but didn�t have enough money to pay for a ride.
During the Obama administration auto industry was bailout; nobody likes this either, but this kept unemployment around ten percent and not went over twenty percent. Many banks and auto plants already paid money back, and capitalist industry started to improve.
During that time I heard very interesting thoughts from the American news anchor. I almost jumped on my sofa from this suggestion or advice. (Not many know that �advice� in Russian is �soviet�; from where we have Soviet Union. In our sarcastic language we were country that everyone knew what other person had to do, but didn�t have any idea what he or she had to do. The Soviet Union was built extremely opposite to U.S. where everyone knows what to do.) I never in the world expected to hear socialist approach to do business in United States. It was discussed a gas price. The price was around five dollars per gallon, and an idea was to keep this price because people already pay it. This is a typical soviet socialist approach to solve the problems. In soviet socialist business a price never reflected a cost or demand; it was only how much people willing to pay. People have to buy a gas if they still have to go to work. If the Obama administration went in that direction, it would be disaster for everyone. The price on gas has impact on the prices on food and everything else. This would lead to the big uncontrollable inflation. In the same way as big increases in prices on food led to uncontrollable inflation in Soviet Union. The United States managed to escape this disaster.
Nobody likes unemployment near nine precept, but it is a difficult to fix a problem with only road construction jobs. (Thank God, it is impossible to send these jobs overseas.) If manufacture�s jobs didn�t come back, unemployment still will be high. I recently checked department stores and saw all American companies� clothes were made in China, Vietnam, Indonesia, and� During the Bush administration businesses had a tax break for sending jobs overseas. This tax break increased unemployment.
Right now it is a tax break for people who put money on savings accounts. Very possible, it is a new trap for the banks and for people who have money in these banks.

Who these so powerful people are who leads the country? Republican Party and Democratic Party are two major parties in United States which developed policy and solve problems in the country.

Republican Party concentrates capital (money) in the small amount people.
Let�s look for a Facebook phenomenon. A web side like this has value if people visit it. The idea is not new, I have almost the same web page in my web site for ten years, and this was not my idea. The programing code is not sophisticated. The major phenomenon was that young guy was interviewed on CBS news and the web site started to pick up hits. Right now this web site cost fifty billion dollars. For some reason this number creates a skeptical smile on a person�s face who knows American business very well. As usual, every tool, what you have, in the good hands is good in the bad hands is bad. If you use Facebook, you can promote your own ideas; but, in major cases, it is a tool to extract some information from people.
Recently I use and enjoy a lot Microsoft Word 2010 to write my �masterpiece�. This program is much more sophisticated in the programming code than any website. I don�t know who created this software, and, probably, value is not in billions dollars. I hope people, who created Microsoft Word, made decent money.
Right now 5 percent people in U.S. have 95 percent of wealth. In Russia before revolution 2 percent people have 98 percent of wealth. It looks to me U.S. have some time for �improvement� before big disaster.

Democratic Party creates big government.
During bailout auto industry, was announcement that it is going to be a tsar who supervise the industry. In my mind a word �tsar� is a person with absolute power and without any obligations. To corrupt all auto industry is difficult, to corrupt one person is very easy. Who is going to corrupt? Let�s say bosses from oil industry. They need a barrel of oil for over one hundred dollars, even cost is eight cents. They don�t need a car for eighty, hundred mile per gallon; they need cars which use gas. (I figure out the cost a barrel of oil during BP oil spill. �Ha! Ha! Ha!� It is the oil spill! Nobody like that oil companies make big money, but at least they have enough to clean after a spill.)
What is happening right now? Republicans and Democrats join forces together. They sit over the aisle, exchanged the gifts for Christmas. If they succeed, it is not going to be any democracy in the world; it is going to be a country much worth than Soviet Union was.

Why Soviet Union collapsed and United States managed to escape disaster?

In United States money and power are in many hands, in Soviet Union money and power were only in the government.
The United States still is a democratic country; money and power are in many hands. Everyone cares about his or hers own money, house, factory � much better than about someone else money, house, factory� This is for everyone.
The Soviet Union was a centralistic country. It was one Communist Party in the country, and the party was in every aspect of people�s lives from education and religion (a top church official had to be a member of the Communist Party) to economic and foreign policies. Communist Party was built on a principal was called a democratic centralism, but in reality it was only a centralism. If let�s say �big brother� developed some policy, everyone has to implement this policy without any questions to ask.

In United States a gifted person has chance to succeed and make positive influence on other person life; in Soviet Union in order to succeed person has to �sing along�.
The American system of education let person to develop his or her gifts and succeed in life. The lives last few American presidents tell that a gifted child can be born in any family, and have chance to succeed in this country.
The soviet socialist system with a notion to develop a new person and as echo Gorbachev�s �new thinking� led to association millions of the best people.
(It is not a �new thinking� or an �old thinking�. It is a basic human needs for food, water, air, shelter�; after that it is desire for love, respect from others� All these are according to the Maslow�s theory of the human needs. The soviet socialist system was built against a human nature. People try to realize their ambitions even not always have a basic for living.)
In Soviet Union together with general education everyone received portion of the brain wash; �values� such as �human life doesn�t have any value�,� family doesn�t have any value�, �most important to do what government asks you to do�, �socialism and further communism is only one and the best way to develop society� were put into the people�s head from a childhood. And major ideas of these sacrifices were to spread the communist ideas around the world. When I became older, started to read more, gained my own life experience, I realized that these �values� didn�t have any sense. In reality soviet socialist system didn�t spread the communist ideas around the world; soviet socialist system spread the poverty around the world.
Not everyone accepted these �values�, and for this reason gifted person usually died in a car crash in his or hers twenties, or hung up from depression in thirties, or died from a cancer in forties. To reach fifty is a very big achievement in human life. Usually people know about lives and death producers, composers, singers; but in Soviet Union to die in young age were for many others. In order to make career, person had to sing along (implemented �big brother� policy, and didn�t make your own decision). For this reason right now Ukrainian government don�t have the brightest people. Ukrainian president and Ukrainian government created mess with my name didn�t even realize they created very big confrontation in the world.

Freedom of speech in United States let people to have right information and make right decision, in Soviet Union it is very difficult to make right decision without right information.
In United States freedom of speech law let people to have right information about many aspects of life and events in the world. The books are published on many controversial issues. The documentaries are made on many interesting topics from politic to nature. The public television gives a little bit different point of view than other channels. All these sources of information let people learn everything what they like to. (Don�t mix up with stupidity which some American TV programs are based in order to destroy someone�s lives.)
In Soviet Union people didn�t have access to all information what they need it. In order to read the Bible in a university�s library students had to ask permission from a library manager; in the same time, to learn Lenin�s works was mandatory. But, anyway, the books were printed, newspapers were printed, magazines were printed, and TV was working. If person learned how to read between the lines, this person can pick up all information what he or she needs it.

It is big difference between the capitalist and socialist economic; first leads to development and prosperity, but another leads to poverty and nuclear disaster.
Because in United States capitalist economic let people to have very big money, country managed to escape financial disaster. During financial crises many people understood problem very well, they personally would lose a lot, and they put big efforts to save financial institutions. This saved the country. Financial collapse would turn many people to the poverty.
The capitalist business economic with free market requires competition which leads to lower prices and better quality products. The wireless telephone connection is very good example of this.
In Soviet Union soviet socialist economic was a state monopoly on everything which leads to unaffordable prices and bad quality products. All profits went to a government, and the government managed money whatever it decided to manage. Some money went to social programs, some to further developments, and some to foreign affairs. People had basic in education and healthcare. Big industry was developed in Siberia and other parts of the county. Without any competition, without free market soviet socialist economic lead to nowhere, don�t have any future. Because it is impossible to figure out all aspects of people�s life, planned industry didn�t develop well, didn�t offer any choices in products and services. Because all life was planned, it was not big progress in science and cultures either. Even in soviet socialist system if a government let people work and live, people would create much better life. The Soviet Union managed to create a great space program but not managed to design a decent washer and dryer. Or, let�s say, medicine was not developed like in United States because nobody put money in that program.
Car industry shows differences very well between capitalist and socialist approach to economic. A new car in U.S. costs from 10,000 to 50,000 dollars (much more expensive cars are not for people who live on paychecks). My salary in the best year was 33,000 dollars, in the worth year was 14,000 dollars. In Soviet Union a new car coasts from 3,500 to 10,000 rubles. My salary was 1,800 rubles per year. It is clear a car was not affordable in Soviet Union. It is big difference in quality too. I had some experience to drive a �soviet� car; it was a nightmare. When I started to drive a car in U.S., it was like I am flying in an airplane. The capitalist economic offers many choices in car industry, but soviet socialist economic was very poor. It was only major three types of cars in Soviet Union. It was a small chance to buy a car; or people had been waited in a line for years, or had some connection to a dealer. And it is very difficult to say who that dealer was. In United Stated choices are incredible. Let�s say Toyota has more than three types of cars (Yaris, Corolla, Camry, Avalon, Matrix, Sienna�.); and, obvious, there are many dealers in a few miles radius.

The laws still work in United States, but nobody relied on the laws in Soviet Union.
In United States the laws still are working and even high officials can be charged if they break the rules. The state of Illinois has a very �good� history in the corruption and sentenced officials.
In Soviet Union I never relied on police or soviet KGB for solving my problems. Everyone try to live life without any confrontations.

The Soviet Union had a lot problems, had crises and this system collapsed. It looks like it was natural process, but, in reality, it was made by people. Because soviet socialist economic was not based on the objective laws and was managed by people, to destroy it was easy. Let�s say �big brother� made decision to destroy a country and everything fell apart as a house of the cards.
The United States didn�t have big problems. Why U.S. developed depression? It looks to me, the same �big brother� decided to destroy the country. Some traps were put for capitalist economic (mortgage crisis, financial system crisis, auto industry crisis), and it started to decline. Even Wall Street Mogul Bernie Madoff with his Ponzi scheme relied that banks collapsed and nobody noticed his crime.
With words �Mister Gorbachev, tear down this wall� everyone in the West assume that the democratic ideas went to the former Soviet Union, but, in reality, it was design to spread socialist ideas to the West and overseas. For this reason, it is difficult to solve mess with my name in U.S., and it is impossible to solve this problem in Ukraine.

Why am I in this mess, and why I don�t see end of this?

First big reason for this mess is soviet socialist ideas already had big roots in United States.
- Let�s say a law about honest service (for the government officials). This law was so broad (like all laws in Soviet Union) and was design to destroy unwanted leaders. Because still a lot people have education in law, were sentenced �wrong� people. In a while this law was changed a little bit.
- Let�s look on a law about economic development. If a development requires, people have to sell theirs property. Or let�s say big money takes over small money. The same was in soviet socialist system that person�s money or property didn�t have any values compare to the government decision, the government money.
- Let�s look on the affair with my name. I lost my privacy and nobody care. There are cameras around me all time; all my emails, telephone calls, unfinished sentences from my computer became accessible almost to everyone. Many think something like this never happen to them. But Cloud software on the wireless telephones, which Apple genius introduced, let to save pictures, documents on the �big� computers; obvious, it is going to be a private. In the case �big brother� needs it, it is going to be accessible. It will be privet in the same way like I have my privacy on emails, home� Nothing is privet anymore in U.S.; it is the same as everything was common in Soviet Union.
- I was insulted and humiliated �millions� times during these four years of my �fame�, and this happened in United States. It is the same as soviet socialist system was built on insult and humiliation. Nobody even denied that it was a dictatorship in Soviet Union.
- During these four years nobody said good words to me, everyone just mocked and grabbed some money. Even people from the American media didn�t talk to me. They just sneaking behind my back and extract some information about me from my surroundings. (This not means that I don�t appreciate good words which were said about me by these people). This is typical Stalin approach to a problem. If you have a person, you have a problem; if you don�t have a person, you don�t have a problem. Some, probably, think this happened only to me, but let�s look at the Alabama and Arizona immigration laws. It is the same Stalin approach to a problem. If you have people, you have problems; if you don�t have people, you don�t have problems.
- I noticed United States goes from the country selfish individuals to the �team work� country. (The Soviet Union was built in that way. The �team work� means that nobody was responsible what was happened.) Still in collage and later at work I noticed administration started to implement a �team work� that everyone had to help each other. This was not working. If you started to help others, you didn�t have time to do what you had to do. Let�s say in the nursing home, where I use to work as housekeeper, I didn�t have right to touch residents; the nurses supposed to take care about people. If I started to help a nurse, I could be in trouble because I was not trained for a nurse position.
This mess with my name is a typical example of a �team work�. I am in hell. Ukrainian crooks create this hell to me in order to �succeed� and make some money. But in reality they will be punished for this mess. Only �big brother� has a lot of fun and grabs all money.
- Recently it was in Chicago news that admission to the university was by a clout list, grades were by a clout list, and jobs were by a clout list. If the whole country goes in that direction, in a while it will be the lives by a clout list. It was the same in Soviet Union that successes in life were by a clout list and lives were by a clout list.
- It was in the news few days ago that new questions students have to answer for admission to a university such as �what you like to wear��. The network started to convince people that �big brother� is looking for new geniuses; but it looks to me �big brother� just is looking for gifted people in order they will not succeed in their lives. The lives by the cloud list already start to implement everywhere and for everyone. The �big brother� is everywhere in United States; it is the same as the Communist Party was everywhere in Soviet Union.

Second big reason for this mess is that Ukraine is not democratic country yet. Ukraine recently gained independence and inherited a lot �dictatorship� features from the former Soviet Union.
The soviet socialist system was built against a human nature (atheistic education is one of these aspects); unfortunately nothing positive didn�t happen for past twenty years after soviet socialist system collapsed. Ukraine has to turn country around from a country, which use people for some not understandable ambitious, to the country, which provides security and protection for their own people. Ukrainian authorities have to look for sources which not let people live and work, which corrupt government. Ukraine has to get rid from soviet and socialism, to defeat a communist evil. Without these changes any money and any economic reforms will not work. Let�s look more specific for the Ukrainian�s problems.
- The soviet socialist system demanded that people work for a government; Ukraine has to change that government has to work for people, provide security and protection for their own people first.
- Freedom of religion has to be one of the aspects of people�s life. Religion has not to be a dogma, how I knew it, but has to be a science. Ukrainian church has to help people go through lives from beginning to the end but not only to collect money.
- All soviet socialist system was built upside down, was built against a human nature. People try to realize their ambitions without having place to live, enough food� This policy has to be change. The government has to let people work and build their own lives, let people choose their own style of living without a �big brother� influence. The government has to keep eye on the basic necessities for a human life such as water, food, shelter� for everyone.
- Ukraine has to implement a freedom of speech not only a �glasnost�. Freedom of speech let people talk about problems, make their own decision, and solve problems. Americans talk about theirs problems and try to solve them. In Soviet Union everything was perfect; people had to accept everything how it was because talking didn�t help to solve problems.
- Ukrainian authority has to change their policy from the fight with their own people (developed a new person) to the policy which provide protection to their own people, has to go for an individuals who destroy other people�s lives.
- Ukrainian lawmakers have to make laws that work for people not against them. Let�s say my unsuccessful life is important to me, Ukrainian president�s successful life is important to him, and nobody has rights to use me for his or hers affairs. All broad laws have to be changed to more accurate laws, to the laws which are the same for everyone.

When is it started to develop soviet socialist ideas?
From the history of the Soviet Union I knew that Russian Social Democratic Party of the Working People exists as a political movement since 1903. Later Lenin turned this party into the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. In the eighties, when it was printed a little bit more, I read that Ukrainian poet and philosopher Ivan Franco analyzed this democratic movement as the worse democratic movement in Russia in that time.
What do I know about American history? I pick up from the TV screen that Russian Jewish doll was recently on the market together with some history books. Russian Jewish girl came to United States in 1914. She came with her parents when soviet socialist ideas were already developed. These people brought these ideas to United States. She came before WWI. It is very possible that big disaster already was planned in Europe.

What direction society is going to develop?
If United States maintains its values as a country for all, a little guy has the same rights as a big guy, it is chance that country continues to be democratic and continue to spread democratic values around the world. If United Stated gives up its values, it is doing to be the slavery around the world.
Ukraine has to change country around from the dictatorship to a free country for all people not only for chosen.

There are my thoughts about my life for past few years. There are my thoughts about society what I am living during my conscious years. They are based on my knowledge from the text books, books, magazines, newspapers, TV programs, and my life experience. This is not scientific researches. Very possible some paragraphs can be turning into a very good work about developing society during twenty century and about future.
I hope there are some intelligent people in the world that help to solve mess with my name in peaceful manner based on the international laws, United States laws, Ukrainians laws, and without any big confrontations.

February, 3 2012

Hi!
I have my driving license back!!!
I was in the court at December, 16. I plead not guilty in my chargers don�t stop on the stop sign. Police officer tray to convict me I create dangers situation in the intersection. And he had some evidence in the radar (whatever they have in the police cars) that my car was moving on the stop sign. But another car was in front of me; and that car stopped on the stop sign, turned to the left on the street where the police car approaches the intersection. How it was possible for police officer to see that I didn�t stop my car? The car in front of me blocked police officers view. It was my time to go in the intersection and I went. But judge find that I am guilty and I have to go to the school for four hours. Well, it was happen what I expected, but it was not happen what I want it. Point N1: Boos is always right. Point N2: If boss is not right go to the Point N1.
Major reason of this punishment is my extremely� impressive� driving record. I have driving license for sixteen years and for this time I was sent do the traffic school for four times. And I paid some tickets between attending the school. Why this happened? Am I so stupid? I manage to cover English language in some way, but I didn�t manage to cover twenty or thirty pages �Road Rules�. Or does someone is watching me very carefully and hypnotize in some way? �Big Brother� was watching me very carefully at home on order I don�t succeed in my life, and the same happened to me here.
To pay almost two hundred dollars and go to the traffic school are very small price to pay. When police officer stopped my car I didn�t know what is going to happen. I didn�t know who stopped my car. Some time ago in my way to home next to me was police car with four or five police officer in the car (or just guys in the police uniform). Very possible next time someone shoots me and convince everyone that I what to committed suicide and he or she try to prevent this. (It was approximately the same case in the news recently; I just stretch a little bit, or I stretch a lot.)
What is going to happen if police officer stop me again without any reason and try to convict me that I am wrong? I am going to go to the court again. I already have a new decent coat. What I have to worry about? It was upsetting to me in this story that two women that suppose represent law in this country participate in my mentally torture together with these police officer (whoever they are). Why do I think all this was set up to me? Next day after my driver license was suspended I was at work in the motel. And four or five customers came to me with their problems. I am working in the motel for one year and for all this time only three or four people came to me with their problems ( need extra towels, remote control doesn�t work, where to put garbage, lock their room). It was clear that someone orchestrate this. I suppose to be upset, and I will lose my temper when people approach me. After that I will have much more problems don�t serve customers well. Who manage all this? Who are these people, people for whom laws are not written? All country already saw who they are. Why nobody fix this? Am I exceptional, or this happened to many people like I am?
Who are these two guys who try to convince me that I create dangers situation? Only one guy testified, but other guy was present. It is strange that two police officers were in one police car. They look like two guys what I saw next to the fabric store. There are the same race, age, height, weight, but they shaved their head, grew their bears, and put the police uniform. It is not important whoever they are. It is important they not protected me, they mocking me in the same way how other police officers in Oak Forest police department. Four years ago I went to complain that there are cameras in my apartment. They didn�t find anything with flash light. In a while I figure out that these cameras are behind the walls, on attic, in the apartment on lower floor below my unit. I even had camera in the electrical outlet in my bathroom. Very possible point of view from the top is not enough. I�ll be not surprise that one day very valuable information is going to go live in the American Network.
When I came from court, someone tried to poison me. I pick up a bill for my security system from my mail box. I ate soup with sour cream and ice cream. In a while bloody blister appeared on my tone. I had bloody blister some time ago when I ate a lunch in the banquet hall. It looks to me someone was in my apartment and try to poison me. I rewash my dishes, and don�t really want to though away all my food. I already eliminate that sour cream and ice cream are not poisoned. I rinse my mouth and hope that dose is not lethal. Very often someone is in my condo minimum. One day I changed and rewashed everything on my bed after I noticed some changes on bed. I don�t know who was in my home and what he or she looking for. My reference from previous job disappears. Sometimes sugar tasted so funny and I had to through away. My security system connected to the Oak Forest police department. What I am pay for?
I am comfortable what happened to me; it is almost like home. I can�t relay for security and protection on police and other authorities for my tax money, I can�t rely for security and protection what I paid from my own packet.
December, 23

Hi!
There are some example of my mentally torture. (Major idea of mentally torture is on black call white, on white call black, and convince people that they mix-up something.)
I still work for weekends in the motel, and I usually pick up my paycheck at Saturday. One Saturday I was told that my paycheck will be tomorrow. When Sunday I asked for paycheck, I was told that they don�t have it. Next week I have to drive to the work to pick up the check during week day.
I will be glad to work more days in the motel, but coworkers don�t let me work for these two days. If it is a little bit more work they call for extra person. I work not more than six hours each day. And my pay check covers only my grocery. Recently two new persons were hired, but nobody ask me to work more days. Coworkers point some my mistakes without any reason in order I quit a job.
I worked for two weeks in a new place, and I didn�t receive my payment. When I called to verify if boss sent a check to me, she tried to involve me in the discussion how many hours I worked. This was done in order I argue and be upset because they were planning to cut some hours or not pay at all. (I was told that I have eight hours every day even I finished my work early, ten hours for Friday because I clean office twice in order don�t work at Saturday; first day I worked three hours, and last day I worked one hour.) I really don�t care what they are going to pay me. The reason I call to verify if check was sent or not because post office don�t delivery all my mail. It happened many times before and will be in the future. It is almost the same life like I had in the Soviet Union.
This is other example of my �comfortable� life. I went to grocery store, Mexican Witch met me with broom and obvious with some spell. In �hem� department young black lady offer me some help; I never buy anything from this apartment. Manager of store send spell on me too. For some reason almost all sugar cases were open. I find one that was seal, but in a while I pour some sugar, and have to put in the plastic bag. Casher offer me replaced sugar, but I better take something what everyone have not something special to me. I afraid someone poisoned me. With small amount poison or viruses I can die in short time for �natural� cases very easy.
Next time in the grocery store was everything normal day without any spill, or pour, or spell. Someone fixed problems.
But next time witches were fling with brooms again.
Why I am telling all these dummy staff? Because I am tired from these insults and humiliation, and need that someone fix these problems and leave me along.
December, 15 2011

Hi!
Does someone is interesting in my terrible life?
Right now I am looking for a new job. Some time ago the connection on my telephone was working only in one way. I could make the calls, but I was not able to receive the calls. It was impossible to find job in that way. Right now I can accept the local calls; authorities are helping me. But it is other problem right away. Because crooks can hear my calls, they know where I am working and I create problems for me.
I started to look for a job in the Polish community. I worked for three days for one guy. Crooks put trap for me on the third day. He doesn�t want to have deal with me anymore. I worked for almost two weeks for other Polish guy. It was very good job for me. It was close to my home; it was for a new person with experience. First week I worked without any problems. Next week already was created trap for me. They force to do something illegal. I have to clean halls in the buildings. Master key doesn�t open all halls, and I skip some halls. I told about this problem in the first day. Instead to make keys for each hall they force me to ring the door�s bell in order people open the hall doors. To ring the door�s bells and bother residents it is not appropriate behave in this country. I was not in mood to argue with boss, and I was not in mood to fix his problems. It was much better for me to quit a job than have problems with law. I worked for young lady for one day. We cleaned the houses. For next day she started to lie to me and not let me work at all. She is too young to handle this mess with me. It is better to leave the job. I have to find enough strong people who let me work.
I have much more problems which are very pleasant information for my enemies.
Few months ago I had a ticket for driving the car on the red light from the street camera. I paid fine one hundred dollars. If I have two more tickets for one year, my driver license has to be suspended. One Friday evening I clean the office and on my way home the half block from my house a police officer stopped me. Problem was that I don�t stop on the stop sign. I made that stop, because I saw the police car, and I was sure they were looking for me. As usually police officers ask for insurance, and from frustration I can�t find it, and I had two more tickets at that evening. I showed my insurance to the police officer when he gave me the tickets. But he said that tickets already written I have to go to court anyway. And I already have tree tickets and have to go to court in the middle of December to solve this problem.
It was strange that two police officers was in one police car; usually one police officer for one car. It was strange that I saw these guys some time ago next to Jo- Ann fabric store. Two thirty years old gays don�t go the fabric stores and specially don�t buy anything. It was strange that someone was looking for somebody, probably me, in the offices what I cleaned. At that time I was in my car and ready to go home. It was strange that almost the same happened to me one year ago. I started to work in the motel and worked from 8 p.m. to 4 a.m. At the first night police officer stopped me and told that I exceed speed limit. I didn�t have ticket that time because was not any reason to give me a ticket, just stopped because he was looking for me.
It looks to me that the same guys who supposed to protect me just mocking me or not let me run away. At evening it is not easy to see on satellite ant it helps them to �protect� me if I lost my driver license. I am not going to run away because I have nowhere to go. My mentally torture has to be solve in decent way, or I am going to be assassinated.
How my problem with my driver license is going to be solved? Or I will pay fine, or I will go to traffic school and pay for school; or I will lose my driver license. What happened if I lost my driver license? I�ll sit naked or half naked in front of my TV, and all American�s networks are going to mocking me that Ukrainians is not able to support one person.
This reality show started more than four years ago and I have hard time to handle it, and most important that I don�t see the end of it.
November, 18, 2011

What else? I have the same problems at work as usual. Traps with vacuum cleaners were created for me again. One time I was managed to escape a trap, one time I was caught in that trap. I try to do best what I can, but they got me again. I knew that was trap, and I pick up by hands everything what was possible to pick up, but I broke vacuum cleaner again. Next week I manage to escape that trap. I didn�t vacuum room because don�t have to. Why I have to worry about broken vacuum cleaner, boss created trap, boss has a broken vacuum. Traps are more and more sophisticated, I can�t find anything dangerous on the floor, may be they hide something in the carpet, or it is my bad luck.
I recently received money for my business from Mulligan Funding. It is 150 grants; it is very decent money. But it looks to me like a new trap. I received the same �debit �cards in my worth time when even post service didn�t deliver my credit card statements. Possibility that they deliver decent money it is very slim.
I lost one of my jobs at August 22. As usual, I keep mouth shut for some time even co-worker insulted and humiliated me in front of other for many times. At Monday I said if I not react on their insult it doesn�t mean that I don�t know that they are doing and it doesn�t mean that I am going tolerate these insults. And they ask me to leave. If problem was only between me and Mexican guys probably bosses try to fix the problem. But I mention names of owners of facility, and it was not exactable. If owners don�t know how to treat people, what I can do about it?
This all looks that I have problems with people who are next to me, but in reality I don�t have any problem with these people. I can say I have problem with people who put me in this hell; I think they are Ukrainian priests, but behind Ukrainian priest stand someone very sophisticated.
What else? I was charged for my web site again. For a few years it was not any charges. Very possible American authorities try to fix my problems at least in some way. But everything started to come back again.
I didn�t receive my credit card statement and a bill for natural gas. I already finished payments that credit card and this not cause any problem. The payment for natural gas I can verify by phone and I make payment by internet. These small bed things can be fixed without any trouble.
This is my life when American authorities protect me. What will be happened to me if they don�t protect me? I will be not live any longer. What will be happened to me if I was home? I would be dead for some time already.
August, 26.

Some years ago my gas and electric bills started to go up. They were very reasonable at beginning when I started to pay them, but recent they started to go up. Ukrainian family started to live in my building, and bills go up. They don�t need my gas or electric. They even don�t live in that apartment, just visit it. They probably have enough money to pay bills. Why this happened to me? Because they have to do, what someone ask them to do. In one hand they have to extract money from me in many ways what possible to extract, and on other hand they have to implement policy of Communist party that Ukraine is country of thieves.
Why I had this idea that Ukraine has to be country of thieves? As usual, many things I learned from American network.
There are some examples how Ukraine as country looks in the eyes of American people.
Some years ago Ukrainian premiere minister was looking for exile in US because person with money can�t live in his own country. He was right that person with money and person without money can�t live in Ukraine. Later he was charge in US for credit card fraud.
Few years ago Ukraine had dispute with Russia for natural gas and American network represent Ukraine as country of thief. What I know that nobody still from themselves, and full person doesn�t still food.
Nobody cheat me in Ukrainian grocery store, at least it was before emigrants from Ukraine started to work in this store. They brought working experience from Ukraine to the American grocery store.
This reality show with my name looks like give her dollar, she is hungry. I never really was hungry in my life, I never ask for money. I was raise to work, and how much money I make will be enough for me.
If someone know how Soviet system was established on our land especially in villages, they know you don�t still you don�t survive, you still and was choughs you was in big trouble. Millions people don�t survive in that time. It is very long and very bitter story.
August,18.

What is new in my life? My car was broken. A few days I didn�t go to work. I have to replace battery. Some time ago I had maintenance check on my car. Or mechanics skip problem or they damage something with purpose. Oh, well!! Two hundred bucks, half day in the dealer and car is running again.
Everything else is even worse than broken car. I never know what will happen in my life next. I almost lost job; everyone has attitude to me like hell. I have enough money for next two- tree month. Nobody even talks to me. If someone talks to me, I am sure he or she needs to extract some information from me. Right now I am looking for a new job. Chance that I find something better it is not so big, but at least more people will know that I am in trouble.
On one in my jobs my working hours was cut by half. Why? They don�t like my attitude. What is my attitude? I don�t even hide my attitude, I hate these jobs. There is what happened on my job. They collected linen with stains for week or more and expected that I wash them on my shift. I did this a few times, and in a while I stopped to do it. They don�t like it. I usually do the best what I can and don�t pay attention for anything else. But this is not means that I let to dance on my head. I was surprise that they don�t even fire me.
All this look like someone doesn�t like that with these two part time jobs I manage to cover my expenses and manage to stand on my feet. With less working hours I am in jeopardy.
All this remind me life at home. This is from text book. Let say for working person it is enough to make eighty rubles per month. These suppose to cover expenses. Your expenses are twenty rubles for food, twenty rubles for cloth, twenty rubles for children, twenty rubles for utility bills. People with education need to make hundred rubles per month. They need extra twenty rubles to spend for books. These values were put in our mind, but they never stick in it. You what to live better life, and you put affords to make hundred rubles more. But you realize that you don�t have better life because you don�t have where to spend this money.
For some reason in US every hundred dollars make some value.
August, 12
Hi!
Right now I am in the phase of a psychological torture. Major idea of this torture is not let me to work, teasing, cut hours of work in order I don�t have money to pay bills.�..
It is some tactics solve these problems. One of them it is to talk to boss. This is not always having positive result. Bosses are the same people who are teasing me and cutting hours of work.
My major tactic is to ignore everything. I don�t pay attention to anything so far if I have my paycheck. One time they even don�t pay me on time, but they pay next day. When my English was worth to ignore was easy to handle. Right now it is more difficult.
If ignoring doesn�t help, I use scary tactics. I took karate classes some time ago, in case I need to hit someone I know how to do it. I tell people, if they continue to teasing me, I hit them. This tactics help some time, but it is not last long time. In a while people realize that I can�t hit.
It is other way to solve problems. To do the same nasty things that someone did to you. These work extremely well to me at home, but for some reason it is not work here. I can do nasty things to coworkers, but they don�t get it. If I do nasty things to boss, I am going to lose my job right away.
I have some problems at my work. It looks to me that I am going to keep job not longer than the end of June, or may be some agony last for a few more weeks.
Usually teasing is on level fifth grade or even on the level of a five years old child, and I don�t want to repeat this stupidity. But recently some teasing was enough interesting, and I decided to tell this story. On one of my current jobs I work almost one year, and ask for a raise. Weeks go by, but it is not any raise. One day I clean some French door, and one of co-workers already started to clean that door. Boss came by, and she told him thank you for promotion. He answered my pleasure. They are extremely polite people, it was extremely sophisticated conversation. What pleasure they have to tease me. I am stupid woman, and I don�t understand what they are taking about.
I live like this for a four years, and nobody care. Today I am behind the low, tomorrow you are behind the law.
July 6
Hi!
What is new in my life? Sometimes I think that people let me work, sometimes I think they don�t. Right now it is a new trend to build friendly relationship at work in order to extract some information from me. They cook lunch not only for me but for all employees, and start friendly conversation to order to figure out:
1. Do I lend the money?
2. How about to discuss wardrobes dysfunctions?
3. How about to discuss stomach dysfunctions?
4. Can I wear old shoes that someone gave them to me?
5. Do I want to be married?
6. Do I jealous that someone is marred?
7. Do I want to go to the party?
8. Do I really is going to the parry?
9. Do I am going to weary sandals to the party?
I think this friendship continue some time after that is going to me mentally torture.
This tactics was use so many times before. People, who want to destroy me, repeat themselves so many times.
When this ends? Dearth ends everything. May be it is other way�.
June 23
Hi!
My problems at work have the same pattern whatever place I start to work. I find a new job and first suppose to be that I still something. On my last job it was vacuum cleaner. I know that I didn�t steel, why I have to worry about. American authority is watching my every step; they know that I have my old vacuum, and I do not need one more, and I don�t sell anything on e-bay. Next step that I can�t do what I suppose to do at my work. They ask me to work for ten hours or more in order that I can�t handle it and quit a job. Next it is that I am too slow. I have to clean room for twenty minutes, twenty two minutes it is not exactable. (I exaggerate a little bit.) One more step is scary tactics. You can find dead person when you open the room. Sure, it can happen, but this never happened before. Next step is that I don�t know what I am doing. Why you vacuum? You see that floor is clean, don�t vacuum, you can save a time. Why you don�t vacuum? You have to vacuum every time. One more step is to forth to do something wrong. Let say forth me to peek in the rented room, when people still inside. When I peek, I am in trouble, when I don�t peek, I am in trouble for disobedience. One more step that I broke something. In this place it was vacuum cleaner. I can�t see pennies on the red carpet especially in that light what we have in the rooms. I broke vacuum cleaner, but this old vacuum was full and didn�t pick up well. When old vacuum was replace by new vacuum, it was clear that this trick was set up for me because new vacuum was in a use for some time before. Old vacuum probably was put in use just for this trick. Right now major tactics is that I make mistakes. You didn�t clean this, you didn�t clean that, why and you didn�t see dirty spot; you don�t have to clean this dirty spot�.
I can continue this hell, but who need to know this. Major topic is that people not let me to work. Why? Someone wants to destroy me and spend money to create this hell for me. When someone ask people who work with me why they do it. Very possible they is going to say that God tell them to do so. (If I have chance I am going to explain more about this later.) These people work like I work, just cashing in a little bit next to me. They probably don�t know that they put themselves in danger to let me work next to them.
People who put me in this hell know very well what they are doing. Who tell them how to get me? My �friends� or better say co-workers from home tell valuable information about me to the Soviet KGB. Person who manages to give some �valuable� information about me made some money during last twenty years, who didn�t give any �valuable� information had hard time to survive. Special thanks to P. who knows very well how to get me. Thanks to him I never am going to have normal working conditions.
Why I know all this? All my knowledge is from American network. How Soviet KGB connected to American network? I don�t have any idea. May be they are connected by uncle or aunt. What is new right now in American network? New trap was created for American people. Have about Ukraine? Ukraine is in trap for few centuries and for this reason it is very difficult to recognize a new trap.
Everyone make money by using me. I am one person who didn�t have money to pay my bills. Who create this hell? Who pays money? Communist Party can only use people. But who pay? At list who has money. May, 19
Some positive happened in my life. I bought a new monitor, and fixed my computer. People who are watching me on regular bases already noticed this. My retirement money, a few hundred dollars, was deposit to my account; I received my tax return check.
But I still have some problems at work; people not let me work all time. Everything bad what happened to me, I refer to Ukrainian priests. They have intelligent on level fifth grader, like this reality show what I was put in. They mocked me ten years ago how I was dressed. They are enough powerful to make visible invisible and for this reason I prefer stand away from them. They look exactly the same as people from this society in Ukrainian classical literature. They like to gain extra wait; they look like they don�t walk but roll. They like to collect money, but to something for people who feed them, they are not there.
Let look for one of them. Father J. came from Ukraine like I am. He is from small town like I am or from village. His mom was teacher like my mom. He is guy not better or worth who was next to me when I was at home. He is gifted and ambitions to make some achievement in life. In order to do this he join Communist Party. Communist party told him to study theology, he studied theology. Communist party told him to come to the United States to destroy my life; he came to the United States. So far he doesn�t accomplish second part of this assignment. He is going to do everything to send me in different world. If he is not going to do so, someone send him in different world. If he accomplish what Communist party ask him to accomplish, he is going to be assassinate too, in order he never tell people who send him here and what they asked him to do so. Even he realize this, he is going to do this for his children in order they have more comfortable life. And I am sure he doesn�t realize that his children, grand children, and great grand children have to sing along with Communist party. Why I know this? I have my life experience at home; I have my life experience here. I like to watch news on different channels, and interview with different people. This let create my own point of view on some events. He is guy from clout list, I am not. He doesn�t have chance to survive so and I. Who need to build society that nobody can�t live????????????
Anyway Father J. is not Ukrainian. Why he represents Ukrainian church. If he is so religious he can represent more international church. Why Ukrainian authorities don�t take a look on this? Nobody expect something positive from Ukrainian authorities.
Ukrainian priests have intelligent on level fifth grade. Who stands behind all this? It is Communist party? Here? May be authority already know some specifics, but nobody talking to me.
I try to fix my problems at work, but I am not sure I fixed problem for better or worse. It is not reason to look for another job; it will be the same problems. I have some problems with my gas bill. Why it is higher than previous month? Heatting system is not working more than last month.
I quit my previous job one year ago because I can�t handle abuse any longer. And as usual I go to store at Saturday to buy early addition Sunday news paper to find some job. Even I already work, I still buy newspaper in hope that someone try to help me. But for year nobody asks anything, even clerk in story was frightened when saw me. And I stop to go to the store. Who threatened these women? Who not let me to work and not let to work people who are close to me? If this trend is going to be continued all country sink in golf of Mexico sooner than someone expected. Who exactly stands behind all this?
April, 21 2011

At March 10 I set up appointment with AT&T to put telephone jack in one of my rooms. But nobody show up. Appointment was set for morning hours. When I called at one o�clock, I was told, that repairmen is going to be a little bit late. When I called after five o�clock, I was told that they can�t rich me by telephone and it is not name on my home bell. They constantly asked about my alternative phone number. When I tell that I don�t have wireless telephone, nobody believes me. I don�t have money for one more telephone, and I don�t need it. I already pay hundred dollars for home phone. Next day I received note from repairmen. They were at my apartment around ten o�clock. Even was number from AT&T on my telephone caller id.

For many will be strange that people don�t make some money to install telephone jack in my apartment. But this reality show was created to make some fun on me. We show up, and you didn�t wait for us. In case I set appointment for another day, will be the same �fun�. It was another aspect for this, they expect extract my wireless telephone number, what I really don�t have.
This is one example of my psychological torture. I live like this for last three years. Life not really pampered me before. It is another example. Recently I make my taxes and use calculator on my computer to add some number. Answer was different every time. One time I noticed that someone add some extra number. Is it possible? Yes. I didn�t have connection to internet at that time, but I have WI-FI in my computer.

Anyway, I didn�t received my tax return yet, a lot people need my money . I am going to keep posted about my comfortable life here.

March 18, 2011

My computer is out of order. I am not sure, I can fix it.

Everything is even worth. People from Ukrainian community, who tolerate me before, started to destroy me too. They are the same people, Ukrainian Diaspora, for whom we relay when destroy Soviet Union, and create independent Ukraine.

Even my pension plan from last job, few hundred dollars, was not deposit to my account.

I know that Ukrainian government never provide security and protections for their own people. Ukrainian government only uses us. But all this happened to me in US. What???? US are not country of law anymore???? Today I am behind the law, tomorrow you are behind the law.

Have a nice day.

Amazing High Tech

Lets put her on computer. Her computer in bedroom; it�s a lot of fun. The red lights can scan her bedroom at night.
What will be happened if I live with someone? Nobody dare to have fun on woman with man; only single woman under the fun??? I find a lot spyware on my computer, but it is not reason to clean; someone hook up again. Why I recently become important for someone?????

Lets put her on satellite. A lot people can watch her.
One day I noticed that my apartment was locked only on upper lock even I usually use two. Who was visiting my home? Nothing was taken. What you planning to find in my home? My bedroom is boring; apartment require some repairs, but in major cases is clean. I feel that someone looking for me all time. Yes, I can fall from bad eyes; I know this. Is it important that all world know this? Ask, and I am going to tell. What people want to know about me?????

Lets put camera inside and outside home. We can take pictures and share with world.
There are cameras inside home, outside home, in my neighbor condominium. And someone put one more recently. Yes, I change my close before go to bed. Yes, I take shower naked ( I am not Ippolit - this phrase for my generation who grow up in former Soviet Union.). You can examine every inch of my body. Did you find something abnormal? I am perfectly normal. Did you see naked woman first time in your life? I don�t fill shame of my body. Why you are interesting in my underwear; everyone have there own clean or dirty.

Lets look on her over TV. Could you imagine she has HD flat screen TV? Lets send to her some stupid information; she is going to be very excited; let her fun on her.
What you are looking for? You need excitement? I put excitement to you, enjoy it.

Yes, high tech working perfect. You already tasted everything on me . Does everyone understand that this is not about me, but about you America. From February next year everything is going to run in HD, and every home can be under surveillance like mine; and to every house can be send different information. This is OK to everyone? It is not funny; it is scary. E-mail was erased not only from my trash can and from yours as well. Do you understand that everyone lost there privacy? I not really have privacy in my life; I can live like this. But what happen to America? Where are your value that was build for century - my home my castle; don�t touch this is privet? Does everyone understand how America solve my problem this is going to determine your future.
Polite person don�t watch in someone home. What this all was design; that I lost my mind from shame? From big love? I am not teenager. I don�t feel shame for my body; I don�t feel shame for my home; I don�t feel shame for way I make my money. Nothing was wrong from my summer adventure. Why all this turned so deadly for me? Why recently my good or bad habits became important? I am not perfect. . Did you ever look at mirror? I did not on camera with my wardrobe dysfunction; I did not clean my nose and ears in front of million people.
I am not surprise that you have fun on me. You have fun Barat; you have fun on Sadam Hussein; you have send you soldiers to Iraq and have fun on them; you have fun on me. America like reality show. One is your corespondents was asking soldiers in first days in war with Iraq approximately like this : �If you are going to die tomorrow? How do you feel?� Who ask questions like this? I am not surprise that your network had fun on me. Jokes in level on instincts. I am surprise that these people are working on your network for decades and still going on camera every day. If it is OK for Americans; what I can say. Your network with very low intelligence; you probably don�t need higher.
Does someone planning to fix this problem or not?????? I went to police back in October; nothing was fixed. I was thinking when higher authority figure out about this, and they fix it. Who not let to fix this problem? This AT&T guy who so far read tales for kids or Comcast guy? Who menage all this????
Today I am on spotlight tomorrow you. Do you nee future like this? Don�t ask about whom bell call; bell call about you.

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