Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D.

Separation Counseling 
 

PsychotherapyHELP

 


Search
Go


 WELCOME ...



PsychotherapyHELP Home


Dr. Paul Hannig


 THERAPY



Hypnosis: Beyond Therapy


Teletherapy: Telephone & Skype Video Sessions


E-Therapy


Deep Feeling Therapy


Music in Therapy


Separation Counseling


The Love Program


Ecstatic Meditations


Power of Prayer/Psycho-Spiritual Therapy


 BEST SELLERS



ONLINE STORE: Manuals, Books & E-Books


ONLINE STORE: Media Programs


Mail Order Form


 



 FREE RESOURCES



Mood, Anxiety, & Personality Disorders


Feeling Therapy Articles


FREE Articles


FREE Manual Excerpts


Newsletters


Online Tests


Web Links


 GROWTH & CHANGE



Addictions


Soulmates from Hell


Soul Mating


Managing Your Anger - NEW!


Depression


Secrets of Success


Dealing with Time Bandits


Reinvent Yourself!


Catching Yourself


Married People - Unmarried Minds


The Power to Convince


 FOR YOU ...



Daily Thoughts


People Are Saying...


 MAILING LIST



Subscribe to our Mailing List!


 THERAPY FORMS



Initial Intake Form


Therapy Guidelines & Confidentiality


 CONTACT US



Contact Us!

Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFT  
PsychotherapyHELP  
818-882-7404  

phannigphd@att.net  


Sitemap





Want to receive timely information, latest research, article updates, and our PsychotherapyHELP Newsletter? Then join our Mailing List!

verified by Psychology Today

You are driving me nuts! I can't stand it. Every time that I try to get close to you, you push me away. What is this … a course in separation? First, you abuse me and accuse me of all kinds of crazy things. I'm tired of trying to explain to you and other people that I am innocent. Oh, you want to fight, don't you? Every time I talk to you, it ends up in some kind of big argument. You kick me out, then you invite me back in. What am I … a YO YO?"


View the previous item
View the index page
View all items
View the next item

Why Separation Counseling?

Perhaps you don't know this, but some of the most difficult types of couples to treat in marriage counseling are those who continually trade angry verbal and behavioral punches with one another. These individuals are addicted to a separation/get back together again, primitive gratification process. This “tit for tat” verbal warfare maintains a kind of dysfunctional balance in an otherwise unsatisfying relationship. If you are one of those individuals caught in a revolving door, get away from me pattern/let's get back together again relationship, you may be fed up with this “follow the bouncing ball” situation.

 

Maybe there isn't enough to your life that you can feel good about, but you certainly have enough energy to invest in the world of struggling complaints. If you're spinning your wheels and getting nowhere, I have a respectful approach to the problem of separation. I understand that you and your AO [alienated other] are very bright people. But, when it comes to this emotional ping pong game, neither you nor your partner seem to be able to solve your problems in an intelligent manner. Respectful unconditional regard seems to go out the window when high emotional reactivity takes a hold of your relationship.

 

Well, the good news is that there is a much better and more successful way of counseling distressed couples who just can't separate or get back together again. Older methods of counseling people with separation problems seem to follow the session by session empathic listening, and problem solving approach with very negligible progress for the relationship. Therapy may do a lot of good for individual growth, but it doesn't get anywhere when couples are swinging back and forth at each other. The most brilliant therapist eventually gets all caught up in the whirlwind of "get away from me/come closer" patterns of relating. It takes a lot of chutzpah to step outside of your situation and say, "Hold it! This isn't working. We are just slamming each other around and spinning our wheels." The result is that you get all caught up in becoming an expert in serial complaining.








PsychotherapyHELP Home  |  Dr. Paul Hannig  |  Hypnosis: Beyond Therapy  |  Teletherapy: Telephone & Skype Video Sessions  |  E-Therapy  |  Deep Feeling Therapy  |  Music in Therapy  |  Separation Counseling  |  The Love Program  |  Ecstatic Meditations  |  Power of Prayer/Psycho-Spiritual Therapy  |  ONLINE STORE: Manuals, Books & E-Books  |  ONLINE STORE: Media Programs  |  Mail Order Form  |  Mood, Anxiety, & Personality Disorders  |  Feeling Therapy Articles  |  FREE Articles  |  FREE Manual Excerpts  |  Newsletters  |  Online Tests  |  Web Links  |  Addictions  |  Soulmates from Hell  |  Soul Mating  |  Managing Your Anger - NEW!  |  Depression  |  Secrets of Success  |  Dealing with Time Bandits  |  Reinvent Yourself!  |  Catching Yourself  |  Married People - Unmarried Minds  |  The Power to Convince  |  Daily Thoughts  |  People Are Saying...  |  Subscribe to our Mailing List!  |  Initial Intake Form  |  Therapy Guidelines & Confidentiality  |  Contact Us!

Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D MFT w PsychotherapyHELP

Chatsworth, CA 91311 w 818.882.7404 w phannigphd@att.net


Sign In