Keeping Your Love Tank Filled

by Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D.

Some people are able to maintain a full reservoir of love inside of themselves. Others can't hold on to a full tank of love. Over time, they lose love as it leaks out of their love reservoirs. However, there are ways to successfully hold and build huge love reservoirs. But, first, we need to grasp the idea that love holds people together.

Love is the glue that binds a family together. Everyone looks for love, knowing and sensing that it cements people together, in a most gratifying way. A family is a system, an organization formed by love, in love and for love. If you want to stay in love, tell your loved ones, "I love you," every day. If you have difficulty saying those three big words, inform your loved ones daily, that you carry the feelings of love for them, inside of you. That is one of the most important ways to build and maintain your love reservoirs.

For some people, the feeling of love is so deep and powerful, that it is not always available for verbal expression. Love for these people is deeply buried in the belly. For other people, the feeling of love is closer to the surface. They have an easier time, verbally expressing, "I love you." Saying, "I love you," every day, can become a wonderful habit for building and sustaining a heart filled with love. If you are a belly type lover and you wish to become more verbally expressive, try using "I love you" as a meditative mantra. This may help you develop the habit of saying "I love you" every day. Good luck keeping your love tank filled!

Love Types

Are you the cognitive type? This type of person mainly experiences love in the mind. You can say, "I love you" and mean it. The feeling of love comes from your head, centered in your cortex.

Or, you may be a heart centered lover. Love is centered in your heart and is usually expressed from that organ. Sensuous people have an abundance of heart centered love. They usually find it easy to say, "I love you." Love finds its chemistry in the limbic system of the brain.

The viscera or belly type of lover is a very deep person and loves from a very deep place. This type of lover focuses love energy in the hind or reptilian brain. The viscera lover feels love in a very powerful way with roots in ancient evolutionary survival sections of the brain.

There are probably no pure, distinct loving types. We are probably a combination of these three different types, albeit in different amounts and proportions. These emotional and biological components of love may determine our style for experiencing and expressing love. Which type are you, predominantly?

The following questionnaire may help develop a clearer picture of what type of lover you are. Please answer the questions as best as you can.

1. In which organ of the body do you experience the feeling of love? Bottom of the spine

genitals lower belly middle stomach solar plexus heart

throat mouth frontal lobe (cortex, forehead) above the head

other

2. If you are a parent, do you say "I love you" to your children every day? Yes No

Sometimes When possible

3. If you are married, do you say "I love you" to your partner, every day? Yes

No Sometimes When possible

4. Do you wish you could say "I love you" to your partner, every day? Yes No

Sometimes When possible

5. Do you wish you could say "I love you" to your children, every day? Yes No

Sometimes When possible

6. Are you married? Would you like to be married? Have you ever been married and divorced?

How many times have you been married? Divorced?

7. Are you now separated? Are you considering reconciliation?

Would you consider getting professional help for reconciliation?

8. Have you ever been in a serious relationship? How many? Would you like to have your own family?

9. Would you like to have children? How many? How old are you?

Do you have children?

10. Have you ever lived with someone, without being married and having sex? Were you faithful?

11. Have you ever had a broken engagement? How long have you ever been seriously involved, without getting married?

12. Do you consider yourself to be a good marital prospect? If married, how good a spouse are you?

13. Do you wish that you had a partner, whom you could say "I love you" to every day?

14. Do you have a partner that you can say, "I love you" to, every day?

15. You have a partner that you deeply feel love for, but you have a hard time saying it, every day?

Carefully review your answers to the above questions and devise a goal for yourself, based on this information. If you desire, submit your questionnaire for our personal analysis and research purposes. Just print it out, complete it, and mail it to the address below. Thank you very much for your participation. I hope this has been helpful.

Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. * 10170-4 Larwin Avenue * Chatsworth, CA 91311 * 818.882.7404 * www.nvo.com/psych_help * phannigphd@socal.rr.com