We need to touch
and be touched. The body's skin needs and
hungers for contact. Since touch is the earliest sense to develop in
the human embryo, it becomes a major source of physical nourishment
throughout our lifetime. When holding and hugging a loved one,
contentment soars and the senses open up. Breathing becomes deeper and
clearer. When touching drives are satisfied, the day is less likely to
be haphazard and full of upsets.
Humans, from birth to old age,
need intimate physical contact. However, everything in our society is
geared towards mechanization, achievement, efficiency and
individuation. Jumping out of bed in the morning, you rush the kids off
to school and then work to exhaustion for the rest of the day. Where
is the time for slow and easy affection ... the touching, holding and
American culture loves expediency.
Rushing here and there, you try to achieve and/or meet some deadline.
Where is the time for moments of pure pleasure and affection? Don't you
just love to touch your kids, your mate? Doesn't it give you great
pleasure? Most of all, doesn't it relieve those self-imposed pressures
Life was not
meant to be spent struggling to get what you don't have. Right
now you have the capacity to stop the rushing, the longing and the
worrying. Start by resting in bed with your partner and your
youngsters. Touch, squeeze, and hug them. Stroke their bodies. Smell
their skins. Kiss their bodies. Feel good. You deserve it. Get out of
your head. Drop the worries and the problems. You have the control and
the potential to be happy.
to your children, your mate. Think about what it is that they need from
you. Be willing to give yourself fully to them. They need you.
whining and complaining about what you don't have. The
world is not a perfect place and there is no absolutely perfect
situation. So why eat your heart out if you don't fulfill some dream?
You act as if you are being deprived and that conditions are not going
in your favor. SO?!!! Why act as
if there is a catastrophe when there really isn't. You will probably
always have conflicting, competing needs. So, life is tough! But you
can enjoy what you already have ... the capacity to love and share your
affection. It is never too late to learn the basics of
touching, hugging and caressing all over again.
caress and kiss. Smile and tell those
closest to you, "I love you". Watch them smile and light
up. You've made their day and your own. You're a human being and humans
need each other. Even animals are naturally affectionate towards one
another. For example, a good part of chimpanzees' time is spent in
grooming one other. This is the way that they fulfill their affectional needs. Remember how much you needed
your mother and father to pick you up and hold you affectionately?
If one or both parents did not
spend enough time holding and hugging you, then you may have
unexpressed pain. Give yourself permission to feel and experience that
pain. Your affectional needs will be brought
up to date and that will help create more awareness about the needs of
those close to you.
If a loved one has not been told
how you feel towards him/her, practice now while reading this. Say
"I love you" ten times and include their name each time.
From now on, every day could be an affectional
day. So, kick back, say "I love you" and enjoy the rewards.
#1: Place this manifesto
on your refrigerator or some other conspicuous place, in order to
remind you to say "I love you" to those you love. J
#2: Choose today to enjoy
the rewards of "giving" affection. J
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