PsychotherapyHELP NEWS

by Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC

Kick Back, Say "I Love You" and Enjoy the Rewards!

We need to touch and be touched. The body's skin needs and hungers for contact. Since touch is the earliest sense to develop in the human embryo, it becomes a major source of physical nourishment throughout our lifetime. When holding and hugging a loved one, contentment soars and the senses open up. Breathing becomes deeper and clearer. When touching drives are satisfied, the day is less likely to be haphazard and full of upsets.

Humans, from birth to old age, need intimate physical contact. However, everything in our society is geared towards mechanization, achievement, efficiency and individuation. Jumping out of bed in the morning, you rush the kids off to school and then work to exhaustion for the rest of the day. Where is the time for slow and easy affection ... the touching, holding and hugging?

American culture loves expediency. Rushing here and there, you try to achieve and/or meet some deadline. Where is the time for moments of pure pleasure and affection? Don't you just love to touch your kids, your mate? Doesn't it give you great pleasure? Most of all, doesn't it relieve those self-imposed pressures and tensions?

Life was not meant to be spent struggling to get what you don't have. Right now you have the capacity to stop the rushing, the longing and the worrying. Start by resting in bed with your partner and your youngsters. Touch, squeeze, and hug them. Stroke their bodies. Smell their skins. Kiss their bodies. Feel good. You deserve it. Get out of your head. Drop the worries and the problems. You have the control and the potential to be happy.

Listen to your children, your mate. Think about what it is that they need from you. Be willing to give yourself fully to them. They need you.

MStop whining and complaining about what you don't have. The world is not a perfect place and there is no absolutely perfect situation. So why eat your heart out if you don't fulfill some dream? You act as if you are being deprived and that conditions are not going in your favor. SO?!!!  Why act as if there is a catastrophe when there really isn't. You will probably always have conflicting, competing needs. So, life is tough! But you can enjoy what you already have ... the capacity to love and share your affection. It is never too late to learn the basics of touching, hugging and caressing all over again.

Touch, hold, caress and kiss. Smile and tell those closest to you, "I love you". Watch them smile and light up. You've made their day and your own. You're a human being and humans need each other. Even animals are naturally affectionate towards one another. For example, a good part of chimpanzees' time is spent in grooming one other. This is the way that they fulfill their affectional needs. Remember how much you needed your mother and father to pick you up and hold you affectionately?

If one or both parents did not spend enough time holding and hugging you, then you may have unexpressed pain. Give yourself permission to feel and experience that pain. Your affectional needs will be brought up to date and that will help create more awareness about the needs of those close to you.


If a loved one has not been told how you feel towards him/her, practice now while reading this. Say "I love you" ten times and include their name each time. From now on, every day could be an affectional day. So, kick back, say "I love you" and enjoy the rewards.


#1:  Place this manifesto on your refrigerator or some other conspicuous place, in order to remind you to say "I love you" to those you love.  J

#2: Choose today to enjoy the rewards of "giving" affection.  J

NEW - Watch our "Deep Feeling Therapy" Video with Dr. Paul as produced for TV by Strange Universe!

In this interview, Dr. Paul explains Deep Feeling Therapy and explores the benefits of this phenomenal method of healing. You are transported into the private arena of one's emotional pain through a full feeling demonstration of the therapy. It's an incredible viewing ... profound, powerful, transformative and impactful. This is one of the best tutorials that Dr. Paul has created. If you've had any questions about the deep feeling method, this video will provide the answers! To view the video, click here ... 

Sizzling Relationships: the 401(k) of Love - now available as an E-book!

"Sizzling Relationships: the 401(k) of Love" is the definitive manual that takes the guesswork out of building and maintaining a sizzling relationship by providing very powerful and specific guidelines for its achievement. When was the last time you researched how to relate to your significant other, boss, child, or friend in a more productive, constructive way? That's why "Sizzling Relationships" was developed ... to teach you how to increase your capacity for intimacy, learn the basic tenets of a proactive and loving relationship, plus how to maintain and increase the "sizzle" in the one you already have. Take the plunge ... invest in yourself. Get the best time tested tools, techniques and knowledge to create the changes you want and maximize the return on your emotional investment. It's the best there is on the subject. For more info, click here ...

"Coping with the Disorder" - now available as an E-book!

"Coping With The Disorder" is a step-by-step guide on how to deal with and address personality disordered behavior, whether in yourself or others. Based on years of Dr. Hannig's expertise, it is an excellent, to-the-point manuscript filled with knowledge, techniques and powerful strategies. Plus, the e-book provides immediate delivery of Dr. Hannig's full length resources.


No matter what disorder you are dealing with, this new manual will give you the techniques on how to heal yourself and/or deal with others that need help. Please don't miss out on this one!

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Telephone Therapy and Life Coaching, utilized separately or together, are highly successful, proven therapies. With Telephone Therapy, there's no need to go beyond the comfort, convenience, and privacy of your home. With Life Coaching, you'll learn to establish goals, eliminate roadblocks, and actualize your potential to achieve what you want. Remember, success is a state of mind and a way of being. One phone call is all it takes to get started. Click here for more info ...

Explore PsychotherapyHELP. Download free articles, gather in-depth information, and email me with your questions. Have you checked out my article "Soulmates from Hell"? Click here to go to PsychotherapyHELP ...

Want to read some of the past issues of PsychotherapyHELP Newsletter? Click here ...

What you don't know about Personality Disorders WILL Hurt You! Check out free articles to download and books to purchase on Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Love Disorder, Obsessive Love Disorder, Bi-Polar Mood Disorder are available at PsychotherapyHELP. Knowledge is power, so use it to give you strength and workable strategies.

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Questions? Have a problem or subject that you would like me to feature in an upcoming newsletter? (anonymously, of course) Then, contact me directly at Since it is difficult during therapy and coaching hours to answer questions by telephone, email works out best.


Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D.