PsychotherapyHELP NEWS

by Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC



Helping Your Children Through Divorce

  • Learn how to help your precious children adjust to separation and/or divorce.


  • What you learn here can make all the difference between how you and your children survive and even thrive through a separation/divorce process.


  • Learn strategies so simple and so effective that even the most unskilled person can apply them.


The Problem: Separation and divorce are no longer the rare exceptions! In fact, separation and divorce has almost become the norm for many people. Because of this fact, effective strategies are absolutely necessary to help ease the transition, not only for the separating couple, but for the children as well.


The following strategies will help you solve the problems of separation and divorce and ease your children through the process without undue suffering:


1.         Remove fighting and argumentation from the presence of your children. In fact, you may wish to remove argumentation from your interactions with your estranged partner. Leave that to your lawyers.


2.         Allow and encourage your children to love the other parent. You don't want to encourage what could become unhealthy coalitions.


3.         If you are invested in perpetuating an argumentative struggle with your estranged partner, have another person take the children for the custody exchange. You can make arrangements for the exchange at the end of a school day. Mutually satisfying agreements and solutions are always in the best interest of the children and should be applied in all decisions that have anything to do with them.


4.         Remember your children may have questions about the separation. Answer those questions in a manner that is appropriate to their age. Reassure them that they are still loved and cared for after the separation and that they will have full access to the other parent.


5.         You might also want to sit down with your children and read a book together about divorce. This way they are informed about the process and do not have to depend on fantasy or guesswork of why their family has undergone a great change.


6.         It is essential that each separating party present each other in a positive light to the children.


7.         It is important that you keep many things the same in your children's lives as you can. Any dramatic change can have a profound negative effect upon children. Sudden moves or changes can put children in a difficult choice situation. Proximity and access to each parent helps maintain close ties and reduces tension and anxiety.


8.         Children are comprised of deep feelings. You may want to encourage your children to express their feelings and emotions openly and nondestructively. This can forestall and eliminate the possibility of any destructive acting out by your children, in protest to their loss. Remember, they are the innocent victims and have had no say in the breakup of their family. Children of divorce have long memories and can have many flashbacks later in life, to any destructive or neglectful behavior of their parents.


9.         It might be important to tell your children's teachers about the divorce, in order to alert them about any possible reactions.


10.      Children are children and live in a specific world of children. Keep them out of adult matters that they cannot understand or integrate.


11.      Continually reassure your children that they will do just fine and that they will always be loved and that they are not responsible for the separation/divorce. Children need to see and experience effective solutions to every life situation, even divorce. They do not choose to be pawns in a power struggle between adversarial parents. Make sure that you do not inadvertently encourage your child/children to become footballs that get tossed back and forth. It is understandable that divorcing couples go through stressful periods. It is also extremely important that the divorce process leads to a reduction in tension and a restoration to normalcy for the children. Fighting must come to an end.



Here's Proof that the Above Strategies Work:


Richard:  "Dr. Paul's methods brought peace of mind back to my life, after a devastating war like separation and divorce. He helped me get through the difficult times with my children and eventually I was able to get back into life and into a much better relationship."


Catherine:  "I had been separating on an off from my partner for years. Our relationship was like a roller coaster, extremely unstable. After mastering Dr. Hannig's methods and therapy, I was able to reenter my estranged relationship with a new sense of love and understanding while becoming a better spouse and parent."


Rhonda:  "My marriage and my family were a total disaster. I had four kids and a husband who could not relate or understand my real needs. After going through Dr. Hannig's deep feeling program, I not only got in touch with my real self, I also recaptured the lost feelings of motherhood. (I was separated from my real mother at birth). After a successful but troublesome divorce, I remarried again and have the most ecstatic life. Dr. Paul's methods taught me how to reconnect to my true self and bond fully with my children. I became a wonderful wife and powerful matriarch for what became an extended and blended family. The deep feeling method and the wisdom that I acquired through the training and therapy have changed my life dramatically."


Irving:  "I got divorced from a very beautiful and wonderful woman, because I didn't have my real self. My relationship was completely unreal. After Dr. Paul's interventions, strategies and methods, I was completely dazzled and changed totally from inside out. How could I have a decent relationship with anyone else, until I finally had a real and complete relationship with myself? It took me a while to go through several disturbed relationships until I developed the right emotional criteria for connecting with my soulmate. As I've recaptured and reintegrated all of my childhood feelings, I became a great uncle and a great stepfather to my new family."


Shane:  "I was young and I made terrible choices. At the time I didn't know any better. So, my relationships ended up in several divorces and separations. After I underwent Dr. Paul's deep feeling therapy and his marriage, mental health and relationship programs, I became my true self and I was able to make choices that matched my own emotional development. My criteria for relationships was totally transformed through the therapy and I became what can only be described as a perfect partner for another perfect soulmate and together we became the best parents to our children. But, it took a long time and there was no luck involved. It was all discovered on the floor in my deepest feelings. Dr. Hannig's wisdom and knowledge gave me the tools to be extremely successful and happy in my life, my marriage and my family."


Cheryl:  "I couldn't feel anything. I was so disgusted and rageful at my ex-husband, that I could have done something really destructive. Dr. Hannig used creative visualization, deep relaxation, guided imagery and so many other methods, that he completely transformed me from the inside out. I was completely relaxed and opened to being taken out of the horrible space that I was in. I was very vengeful and was using my children as a weapon against my ex. But, over a relatively short period of time Dr. Paul's methods relaxed me and put me in a state of being calm and peaceful. Eventually, I worked out a very reasonable, rational and amiable divorce from my ex. The therapy changed everything in my life and opened up a totally new and wonderful future for me. The methods straightened out my head and taught me how to be a better parent to my children, while freeing me from my negativity to my former partner."


The Problem of Procrastination


John:  "I have been putting off, month after month, year after year of doing something...... of committing myself and entering into the therapy and counseling that I so drastically need. I make all kinds of negative excuses. I even badmouth therapists. I don't trust anybody. In the meantime, my life is going down the tubes. Nothing is getting better by itself and everything is getting worst. Marriage, relationships and contact with my children are all disastrous. Yet, I do nothing. I am afraid of change. I'm stuck. I keep getting pulled and attracted to what Dr. Hannig is doing. The stuff he says on his website grabs me. But, every time I take that step, I pull back."


Dr. Paul's candid response to the above problem of procrastination: "I am reminded, when I was fresh out of college and I applied for my first job as a therapist. My mentor and teacher said to me after he picked up that I was hedging, "S.....T or get off the pot." That phrase, spoke to me in my language. I stopped hedging and procrastinating and showed up on Monday morning for what was the beginning of an enormous change in the direction of my life. I am so glad that my mentor put those words on me."


Take the call to action. If you are ready to make the big change in your life call 818-882-7404 and go to PsychotherapyHELP at to fill out the necessary intake forms and the autobiography.



The rest of your life is at stake. You can only get better.

"Sizzling Relationships: "the 401(k) of Love"


It is hard to believe that millions of people get married every single day and very few have learned the fundamentals of marriage. It is common truth that you cannot master anything until you learn the basic fundamentals. Yet, our culture does not coach people on how to successfully navigate the mysterious waters of fulfilling, ecstatic relationships. Such matters are left to chance.


"Sizzling Relationships: the 401(k) of Love" is the definitive manual that takes the guesswork out of building and maintaining a sizzling marriage by providing very powerful and specific guidelines for its achievement. Make these marriage fundamentals the foundation of your relationship and take your relationship to new heights of ecstasy and intimacy. Now available as an E-book. For more info, click here ...


Sizzling Relationships: the 401(k) of Love" and "Coping with the Disorder" are now available as E-BOOKS!


"Coping with the Disorder"

"Coping With The Disorder" is a step-by-step guide on how to deal with and address personality disordered behavior, whether in yourself or others. Based on years of Dr. Hannig's expertise, it is an excellent, to-the-point manuscript filled with knowledge, techniques and powerful strategies. Narcissistic, Borderline, Obsessive Love, Paranoid Personality Disorder and more are covered in this remarkable volume.


No matter what disorder you are dealing with, this new manual will give you the techniques on how to heal yourself and/or deal with others that need help. Please don't miss out on this one! Now available as an E-book. For more info, click here ...

"Feel Great": A Revolutionary CD Program to Reduce Stress, Negativity and Anxiety!

"Feel Great" is the ultimate program for eliminating stress, anxiety and negativity from your mind, body and relationships. In just thirty minutes, you will feel relaxed, de-stressed, more positive and able to relate from a more focused core center ... a truly remarkable "personal time out" from the stresses of daily living. Soothing suggestions combined with healing music, this relaxation program calms mental, emotional and physical stress and pain at the deepest levels. Suggestions are audible, not subliminal, and can be used for thirty or sixty minutes. For more info, click here ...


FREE copy of "Feel Great" with ANY order! We are so convinced of the benefits that this CD program provides that we will send you one with any order of any amount. Once you use it, you will want to continue with it everyday ... whether in the morning, after work, or before bedtime. Take advantage of this special offer! Just specify upon check out or email me directly at and I will ship it free of charge. Order today!

"Feeling People": The Best Book on Deep Feeling Therapy!

"Feeling People" is an exciting & powerful excursion into how deep core feeling can profoundly change and transform your life. The message is clear: it is absolutely possible through the feeling process to reverse the effects of original pain and lead an integrated, successful and happy life with yourself and others.

"Feeling People" explores the Total Feeling Process, an in-depth and highly evolved psycho-therapy that works on pathology and encompasses your total history (past, present and future). It will lead you to explore long forgotten emotions and the depths of core identity. This total integration of connection to core being and identity is the purpose behind the Total Feeling Process, and the key to your personal success!

"The book focuses on deep-feeling, emotional release work in an atmosphere of support and love. Extensive coverage of pre- and peri-natal experiences and the role of love in the therapeutic process, with suggested guidelines for therapists. For those who want an overview of the feeling process, this book is the best description of transformations wrought by deep feeling work to date."    ...Terry Larimore, practicing therapist

"Excellent introductory book on feelings that corrects some of the earlier misconceptions about deep feeling work and finally brings the therapy up to date. In-depth presentation of case histories. Thorough examination of how buried and long forgotten emotions continually influence our present lives. Profound - deep - transformative - a much needed book in the field.
Michael Adzema, Editor of Aesthema, Santa Barbara, CA

NEW Videos at


"Deep Feeling Therapy: Healing Emotional Pain"  

Am amazing introduction and guide to Deep Feeling Therapy is now at  Featured on Strange Universe, this video explores the benefits of the deep feeling process and demonstrates, under my guidance, an actual feeling session in my office. It's incredible and powerful video that will answer many of your questions about Deep Feeling Therapy and bring you up close to the process. Click here to see the video ...


"Managing your Anger: Just Don't Dump It ... Work It Out!"

Don't dump your anger on those around you when you can work it effectively in a therapy session. Watch my colleague, during my guest appearance on the Marilu Henner Show, as she demonstrates the most productive way to work and resolve anger. Click for the video ...

Need Help? Want More Information?


Telephone Therapy and Life Coaching are highly successful therapies.

With Telephone Therapy, there's no need to go beyond the comfort, convenience, and privacy of your home. Establish goals, eliminate roadblocks, and actualize your potential to achieve what you want with Life Coaching. Remember, success is a state of mind and a way of being. One phone call is all it takes to get started. Click here for more info ...

Explore PsychotherapyHELP. Download free articles, gather in-depth information, and email me with your questions. Click here to go to PsychotherapyHELP ...

Want to read some of the past issues of PsychotherapyHELP Newsletter? Click here ...

Learn more about Mood and Personality Disorders ...

Expert Author on and


I am now an Expert Author with EzineArticles and Please click on the link below to read my articles on Ezine. Feel free to share them. They could make a difference to someone you know.  Click here for EzineArticles ...


Visit my web page on by clicking here ...

Questions? Have a problem or subject that you would like me to address? Then, contact me directly at Since it is difficult during therapy and coaching hours to answer questions by telephone, email works out best. So, I hope to hear from you soon ...


Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D.