- Learn how to help your precious children adjust to
separation and/or divorce.
- What you learn here can make all the difference between how
you and your children survive and even thrive through a
- Learn strategies so simple and so effective that even the
most unskilled person can apply them.
The Problem: Separation and
divorce are no longer the rare exceptions! In fact, separation and divorce
has almost become the norm for many people. Because of this fact,
effective strategies are absolutely necessary to help ease the transition,
not only for the separating couple, but for the children as well.
The following strategies will help you solve the problems of
separation and divorce and ease your children through the process
without undue suffering:
1. Remove fighting
and argumentation from the presence of your children. In fact, you may
wish to remove argumentation from your interactions with your estranged
partner. Leave that to your lawyers.
2. Allow and encourage your children to love the other parent. You
don't want to encourage what could become unhealthy coalitions.
3. If you are invested in perpetuating an argumentative struggle
with your estranged partner, have another person take the children for
the custody exchange. You can make arrangements for the exchange at the
end of a school day. Mutually satisfying agreements and solutions are
always in the best interest of the children and should be applied in
all decisions that have anything to do with them.
4. Remember your children may have questions about the separation.
Answer those questions in a manner that is appropriate to their age.
Reassure them that they are still loved and cared for after the
separation and that they will have full access to the other parent.
5. You might also want to sit down with your children and read a
book together about divorce. This way they are informed about the
process and do not have to depend on fantasy or guesswork of why their
family has undergone a great change.
6. It is essential that each separating party present each other in
a positive light to the children.
7. It is important that you keep many things the same in your
children's lives as you can. Any dramatic change can have a profound
negative effect upon children. Sudden moves or changes can put children
in a difficult choice situation. Proximity and access to each parent
helps maintain close ties and reduces tension and anxiety.
8. Children are comprised of deep feelings. You may want to
encourage your children to express their feelings and emotions openly
and nondestructively. This can forestall and eliminate the possibility
of any destructive acting out by your children, in protest to their
loss. Remember, they are the innocent victims and have had no say in the
breakup of their family. Children of divorce have long memories and can
have many flashbacks later in life, to any destructive or neglectful
behavior of their parents.
9. It might be important to tell your children's teachers about the
divorce, in order to alert them about any possible reactions.
10. Children are children and live in a specific world of children.
Keep them out of adult matters that they cannot understand or
11. Continually reassure your children that they will do just fine
and that they will always be loved and that they are not responsible
for the separation/divorce. Children need to see and experience
effective solutions to every life situation, even divorce. They do not
choose to be pawns in a power struggle between adversarial parents.
Make sure that you do not inadvertently encourage your child/children
to become footballs that get tossed back and forth. It is
understandable that divorcing couples go through stressful periods. It
is also extremely important that the divorce process leads to a
reduction in tension and a restoration to normalcy for the children.
Fighting must come to an end.
Here's Proof that the Above Strategies Work:
Richard: "Dr. Paul's methods brought
peace of mind back to my life, after a devastating war like separation
and divorce. He helped me get through the difficult times with my
children and eventually I was able to get back into life and into a
much better relationship."
Catherine: "I had been separating on an off
from my partner for years. Our relationship was like a roller coaster,
extremely unstable. After mastering Dr. Hannig's
methods and therapy, I was able to reenter my estranged relationship
with a new sense of love and understanding while becoming a better
spouse and parent."
Rhonda: "My marriage and my family
were a total disaster. I had four kids and a husband who could not
relate or understand my real needs. After going through Dr. Hannig's deep feeling program, I not only got in
touch with my real self, I also recaptured the lost feelings of
motherhood. (I was separated from my real mother at birth). After a
successful but troublesome divorce, I remarried again and have the most
ecstatic life. Dr. Paul's methods taught me how to reconnect to my true
self and bond fully with my children. I became a wonderful wife and
powerful matriarch for what became an extended and blended family. The
deep feeling method and the wisdom that I acquired through the training
and therapy have changed my life dramatically."
Irving: "I got divorced from a very
beautiful and wonderful woman, because I didn't have my real self. My
relationship was completely unreal. After Dr. Paul's interventions,
strategies and methods, I was completely dazzled and changed totally
from inside out. How could I have a decent relationship with anyone
else, until I finally had a real and complete relationship with myself?
It took me a while to go through several disturbed relationships until
I developed the right emotional criteria for connecting with my soulmate. As I've recaptured and reintegrated all
of my childhood feelings, I became a great uncle and a great stepfather
to my new family."
Shane: "I was young and I made
terrible choices. At the time I didn't know any better. So, my
relationships ended up in several divorces and separations. After I
underwent Dr. Paul's deep feeling therapy and his marriage, mental
health and relationship programs, I became my true self and I was able
to make choices that matched my own emotional development. My criteria
for relationships was totally transformed through the therapy and I
became what can only be described as a perfect partner for another
perfect soulmate and together we became the
best parents to our children. But, it took a long time and there was no
luck involved. It was all discovered on the floor in my deepest
feelings. Dr. Hannig's wisdom and knowledge
gave me the tools to be extremely successful and happy in my life, my
marriage and my family."
Cheryl: "I couldn't feel anything. I
was so disgusted and rageful at my
ex-husband, that I could have done something really destructive. Dr. Hannig used creative visualization, deep
relaxation, guided imagery and so many other methods, that he
completely transformed me from the inside out. I was completely relaxed
and opened to being taken out of the horrible space that I was in. I
was very vengeful and was using my children as a weapon against my ex.
But, over a relatively short period of time Dr. Paul's methods relaxed
me and put me in a state of being calm and peaceful. Eventually, I
worked out a very reasonable, rational and amiable divorce from my ex.
The therapy changed everything in my life and opened up a totally new
and wonderful future for me. The methods straightened out my head and
taught me how to be a better parent to my children, while freeing me
from my negativity to my former partner."
The Problem of Procrastination
John: "I have been putting off,
month after month, year after year of doing something...... of
committing myself and entering into the therapy and counseling that I
so drastically need. I make all kinds of negative excuses. I even
badmouth therapists. I don't trust anybody. In the meantime, my life is
going down the tubes. Nothing is getting better by itself and
everything is getting worst. Marriage, relationships and contact with
my children are all disastrous. Yet, I do nothing. I am afraid of
change. I'm stuck. I keep getting pulled and attracted to what Dr. Hannig is doing. The stuff he says on his website
grabs me. But, every time I take that step, I pull back."
candid response to the above problem of procrastination: "I am
reminded, when I was fresh out of college and I applied for my first
job as a therapist. My mentor and teacher said to me after he picked up
that I was hedging, "S.....T or get off the pot." That
phrase, spoke to me in my language. I stopped hedging and
procrastinating and showed up on Monday morning for what was the
beginning of an enormous change in the direction of my life. I am so
glad that my mentor put those words on me."
Take the call
to action. If you are ready to make the big change in your life call
818-882-7404 and go to PsychotherapyHELP at
www.psychotherapyhelp.com to fill out the necessary intake forms and
The rest of your life is at
stake. You can only get better.