Published by Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D.


You are receiving this newsletter because of your interest in Dr. Paul's work or your visit to PsychotherapyHELP. Enjoy!



"The Real You and the Unreal Self"


If you have ever noticed babies crying in the crib, you will probably see that they are either lying on their stomach or on their back. This deep whole body crying is fully expressed in the lying down position. The baby is in the full primal state, expressing its feelings and needs. It is using the only language that it knows; the primordial, deep feeling, full body, uninhibited scream.


At this stage, the baby is totally real. However, over time, the baby learns that there is a social world outside of its primal/primordial real self. As the child grows, it learns to sit up and eventually walk. Language is acquired by the age of two. The child has been in the formative stages of developing a social self. If It's real needs have not been fully met, the child begins to split off and construct an unreal self manifested by a social fašade.


If real needs have not been lovingly responded to in a consistent way, the child opts to develop strategies for getting needs met symbolically. The seeds of dysfunction and disorder have been sown and extreme repression becomes part of the personality.

At some later point in life, the adult may become acutely aware that he/she has been cut off and out of touch with deep feelings. The split has completely formed and the real self gets buried underneath a false front.


So, what is the answer? It is a return to the original position of one's infancy by lying down and allowing those repressed, unexpressed feelings and needs to be fully exploded out in a therapeutic primordial deep feeling experience. Once the technique of lying down is established, one can only be real. This occurs, especially if one uses music to gain access to the deeper feelings. Giving permission to the self to fully feel is a crucial step towards unlocking the mental and physical blockages/defenses that hold the real self in the deepest parts of consciousness and the body.


This lying down position in the context of fully expressing the deepest real self, eliminates all of the physical and mental defenses that keep one from the deepest and truest real self. The way to total transcendence is inward, outward and upward. The peak experience of full insight and integration clears the mind, spirit and body of the repressed feelings that were not allow full expression and integration in earlier life.


The other part of the equation is that if one becomes a superstar or an expert at expediting the deep feeling experience, the entire realm of absolute reality and universal knowledge and insight becomes available. Clarity, wisdom, insight and the utter joy of paradise/heaven becomes a reality here on earth. Who wouldn't want that?


So, it is not asking too much for people to come out of their usual sitting up positions and reliance on words..... to lie down, put on the music, open up the self and delve into the magical, magnificent, marvelous, unlimited universe of the self. Divinity resides there and it only requires the movement beyond the ordinary limits of ego time and space.


Question: Can this be done over the telephone?


Answer: Absolutely! As long as the individual can provide the safe uninhibited sound secured sanctuary, plus music, desire and willingness for getting down on the floor, in the lying position and allowing the deep feelings to emerge and be fully expressed. An inhibited personality will have an inhibited environment, where deep feelings are not allowed to be expressed. That would just be another recapitulation of one's past blockages to full feeling and need responsiveness.


Conclusion: Get the music, drop the inhibitions, provide the physical sanctuary space, open the body, and let the good times roll. You will experience the most effective transformation in the universe.



If you want more information on Feeling Therapy, then check out "Feeling People" at PsychotherapyHELP. "Feeling People" is an exciting and powerful excursion into the way deep core feeling can profoundly change and transform your life. The message in the book is clear: it is absolutely possible, through the feeling process, to reverse the effects of original pain and lead a fully integrated, successful and happy life with yourself and others. It is the cornerstone of my Feeling Therapy Program and I highly recommend its reading. For more information on my Feeling Therapy Program, click here ... Please note that Feeling Therapy can be done over the telephone within the context of Telephone Therapy.


For more information on relationships check out my book "Sizzling Relationships: the 401(k) of Love" at PsychotherapyHELP. "Sizzling Relationships" takes the guesswork out of building and maintaining a sizzling relationship by providing very powerful and specific guidelines. When was the last time you researched how to relate to your significant other, boss, child, or friend in a more productive, constructive way? To read an excerpt from "Sizzling Relationships", click here ...


For information on how to deal with personality disorders, check out my book "Coping With The Disorder".It is a step-by-step guide on how to deal with and address personality disordered behavior, whether in yourself or others. No matter what disorder you are dealing with, this new manual will give you the techniques on how to heal yourself and deal with others. To read an excerpt from "Coping with the Disorder", click here ...


Mood and personality disorders can be the "Love Killers" of any relationship. Knowledge about the disorder and in-depth therapy can make a difference. To know more about the different mood and personality disorders and how to deal with them, click here ...


Seeking therapy but cannot find a therapist of your choice locally? Call me to discuss Telephone Therapy. My Telephone Therapy program has been a successful counterpart of my private practice for years, as it reaches out to help those in need and provides my expertise to all regardless of location. Don't let the lack of a professional in your area hold you back from becoming all that you can be. For more information on Telephone Therapy, click here ... One phone call is all it takes!


Please contact me if you need help. That's why my web site is called PsychotherapyHELP. From Telephone Therapy to office consultations, there is a therapy program designed to meetyour needs. Email or call 818-882-7404 for more information.


Warmest regards,

Dr. Paul