PSYCHOTHERAPYYHELP NEWS: "Pathological Stalking"
Stalking is a pathological disease ... an Obsessive Compulsive Love Disorder that is part of the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder analysis spectrum. In this issue of PsychotherapyHELP News, I will outline some of the pathological aspects of the disorder and provide some resources for self-defense and empowerment.
THE STALKING PROCESS
At some point, after an initial contact, a stalker develops deep and complicated infatuation feelings and places the love object on a worshiped pedestal. There is nothing wrong with this common human behavior, except when it leads to pathological attachments and destructive outcomes.
The stalker attempts to approach the victim and then behaves in destructive ways that set up deep fear, alienation and rejection in the victim. After being rejected, the stalker creates a mental, and emotional and spiritual delusion whereby the stalker projects and transfers his/her own unacknowledged and unrecognized feelings onto the victim. This is the delusion: "She/he loves me too!" Reality further slips away and a fantasy world replaces accurate cognitive processing. The victimizer catapults his/her own feelings of being a victim onto the real victim and believes that the victim deserves cruel and unusual vengeful punishment; while at the same time fervently believing in the total enslavement, captivation, control and ownership of the victim's heart, soul and mind.
The stalker's deep shame is oppressed and repressed under the cover of the unreal mask of intense anger and self justified stalking and pursuit of the victim. The obsession takes ownership and captivity of the predator and the prey. The desire to control is based on power needs expressed through the evil intentions of harassment and injury.
The stalker/enslaver/dominator/controller will now do everything in order to restore and solidify a delusional narcissistic fantasy. The stalker is now treading the waters of borderline maniacal mental illness. This all occurs under the cover of a normal, good guy/good girl, charming and loving facade. The truth is both victim and victimizer are thrown into the symbolic captivity of Egypt. Enormous feelings of oppression, terrorism, rage, depression, fear, anxiety, revenge, helplessness, despair and loss of all sense of self-worth are grounded into the pit of Hell. Slavery and captivity are the themes of stalking.
Violence may occur after extreme devaluation, denigration and wishes of emotional and physical destruction of the victim dominate the obsessed mind of the stalker. Even if a stalker assures you that no harm is meant, do not believe anything that he/she says.
Remember, a stalker receives immense satisfaction and power from invading your privacy and causing you fear.
FACED WITH A STALKER? WHAT TO DO:
1. Take action: Start tellings others about the stalker.
2. Keep a Journal: record every single incident that happens -- date, times, esxperience, witnesses, phone numbers, addresses -- everything you can think of. This can be used as evidence later on.
3. Get More People Involved: contact a crises center and tell them what's going on. Contac the police. Bring in your journal. They will have city and state resources available to help you.
4. Work with Advocates: work with the crises center and a therapist that is familiar with stalking pathology. They will help you during tough emotional times and empower you.
5. Call Non-Emergency Numbers: notify the Police when the incident occurs. Contact 911 emergency if your life is in danger.
6. File a Restraining Order: Check your local government concerning the different types of restraining orders and the rules for filing.
7. Be With Other People: don't go out alone.
8. Don'T Show Fear: Don't give the stalker what he wants -- your fear.
OBSESSIVE LOVE DISORDER: A PROFILE
Based on years of my private practice, research, and case histories, "Obsessive Love Disorder: A Profile" by Dr. Paul Hannig is an in-depth journey into the causes and treatment strategies of this personality disorder. Love obsessions and the roots of compulsive behavior are covered, as well as the destruction and pain inflicted on all relationships.
Go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/services/item.nhtml?profile=services&UID=43 for information on purchasing "Obsessive Love Disorder".
If you are Stalking victim or know someone who is, check out the resources of the Stalking Resource Center: the National Center for Victims of Crime. Go to http://www.ncvc.org/SRC/Main.aspx.
Telephone Therapy is highly successful. There's no need to go beyond the comfort, convenience, and privacy of your home. Go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/telephonetherapy/
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THANK YOU FROM DR. PAUL:
I want to thank you for contacting me with your questions and concerns. Since it is difficult during therapy hours to answer your questions by telephone, email seems to work out best. Please feel free to continue contacting me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will do my best to respond as quickly as possible.
Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC