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Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC
PSYCHOTHERAPYHELP NEWS
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THE POWER OF PROVOCATION
The need for personal power is a basic human need. Certain
people attempt to get their power needs met through the action of provocation.
If you can get another person to react to you negatively, through provocation;
you have successfully sought to unconsciously fulfill your need to be punished.
But, perhaps this is not something that you really want. On the other hand,
provocative power feeds your need for hostile attention, which for some people
is better than no attention at all. One cannot overlook the childlike
regressive nature of this approach. It is primitive. Perhaps, the substrate for
this instinct is rooted in our early evolution, when our progenitors needed to
provoke fights in order to acquire someone else's power resources.
THE POWER STRUGGLE
Once provocation enters into your interactions, the power
struggle has begun. You are now in the middle of a win lose strategy. As with
all such struggles, this approach involves inflammatory speech and behavior.
What comes out of your mouth fulfills the win lose approach.
The provocation strategy has to involve two parties; the
provocator and the reactor (provocatee). You could be either one or both of
these. Decide which one more closely approximates your style. Remember, these
categories and assumptions are relevant to whomever is doing the observing.
Perceptions do differ!
TRY AN EXPERIMENT:
For an entire week, consciously make a decision to focus
your attention on provocative power situations and the individuals who are
involved. You can go into your memory banks, the news media and examples from
every day situations. Keep a log! Make a list of those people who are caught in
the provocation power game, including yourself. Write down in detail the
specifics of each situation and try to imagine coming up with very difficult
answers on how to deal with these problems.
CRITICAL THINKING: TRY IT!
The president of Iran is threatening to build nuclear power
plants. He also makes provocative statements about wiping out the nation of
Israel. Who are the targets of his provocative statements and what do you think
could be the eventual outcome of his speech and his actions?
A person that you hardly know or someone that you know very
well, makes a very hostile statement to something that you have said and done.
What are your emotional and behavioral reactions?
You say something to someone and you think it is quite
innocent and they go off on you. What's the trigger? Who is doing the
provocation?
Another assignment: For a whole week, monitor anything that
you might say, do or think that could provoke someone to react hostile toward
you.
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It is much easier for me to answer your questions by email.
In fact, I may even feature them (anonymously, of course) in one of our
newsletters, but only with your permission. So, please contact me directly at
phannigphd@socal.rr.com. Since it is difficult during therapy hours to answer
your questions by telephone, email seems to work out best. So, keep those
questions coming over the internet.
Warmest Regards,
Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC
URL: www.nvo.com/psych_help EMAIL: phannigphd@socal.rr.com