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PsychotherapyHELP News by Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC

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CONVERSATIONS EXAMINED: FIRST OF A SERIES

 

"Let's Talk" ... how many times has a simple conversation gone awry, making you wonder what happened?! Take heart. It is possible to examine a conversational segment to discover what works and what doesn't. The roots of many successful and unsuccesful human interactions can be found by examining conversational segments. Look at the following example:

 

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John and Mary:

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John asks Mary a question, but in reality, he is making an emotional statement. Mary responds naturally to the quesion but fails to pick up John's underlying statment ... which he fails to communcate correctly and directly to Mary. She gives the answer that he does not wish to hear and he viciously attacks her. She is brutalized, hurt and deeply dismayed by his behavior. She defends herself and in the process chastises and rejects John. She follows this with much rule setting and he rebels as if he is reacting like a child to its mother. The battle escalates and the relationship goes into the hopper and both people are alienated.

 

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Avoiding the Escalation of Conversational Warfare:

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If either John or Mary had activated their "Objective Observer", they could have stood apart and above their conversation in order to examine what was happening. Thus, they would have been able to further determine a more successful conversational interaction, instead of opting for a dysfunctional one. The "Objective Observer" provides a breathing space ... just long enough to allow you to think and prevent an emotional train crash from happening.

 

It truly gives new meaning to the phrase "Think First, Speak Later" ...

 

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"Sizzling Relationships" - the 401(k) of Love

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We spend more time researching our investments than developing productive relationship strategies ... It's true ... when did you last research how to relate to your significant other, boss, child, or friend in a more productive, constructive way? That's why "Sizzling Relationships" was developed ... to teach you how to increase your capacity for intimacy, learn the basic tenets of a proactive and loving relationship, plus how to maintain/increase the "sizzle" in the one you already have. Take the plunge ... invest in yourself. Get the best time tested tools, techniques and knowledge to create the changes you want and maximize the return on your emotional investment. It's the best there is on the subject ...

 

For more info or to buy "Sizzling Relationships", go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/services/item.nhtml?profile=services&UID=82

 

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Resources:

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"Sizzling Relationships: the 401(k) of Love" is the handbook for my Love Program. For more information on that therapy program, go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/relationshipprogram/

 

Don't forget to explore PsychotherapyHELP for more free articles and information on therapy. Discover our new media programs - from relaxation techniques to spiritual mediations to success strategies - my media programs are great. Go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/services/ for more info ...

 

Telephone therapy is only a phone call away. Go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/telephonetherapy/ for more information on how to begin. As always, thank you for your emails and being part of our newsletter community.

 

Should prayer be a part of counseling, coaching or therapy? For more information on Psychospiritual Therapy, go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/prayerproject/.

 

 

Warmest regards always,

Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC

PsychotherapyHELP - www.nvo.com/psych_help

email: phannigphd@socal.rr.com

voice: 818.882.7404