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PsychotherapyHELP News by Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC
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CONVERSATIONS EXAMINED: FIRST OF A SERIES
"Let's Talk" ... how many times has a simple
conversation gone awry, making you wonder what happened?! Take heart. It is
possible to examine a conversational segment to discover what works and what
doesn't. The roots of many successful and unsuccesful human interactions can be
found by examining conversational segments. Look at the following example:
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John and Mary:
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John asks Mary a question, but in reality, he is making an
emotional statement. Mary responds naturally to the quesion but fails to pick
up John's underlying statment ... which he fails to communcate correctly and
directly to Mary. She gives the answer that he does not wish to hear and he
viciously attacks her. She is brutalized, hurt and deeply dismayed by his
behavior. She defends herself and in the process chastises and rejects John.
She follows this with much rule setting and he rebels as if he is reacting like
a child to its mother. The battle escalates and the relationship goes into the
hopper and both people are alienated.
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Avoiding the Escalation of Conversational Warfare:
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If either John or Mary had activated their "Objective
Observer", they could have stood apart and above their conversation in
order to examine what was happening. Thus, they would have been able to further
determine a more successful conversational interaction, instead of opting for a
dysfunctional one. The "Objective Observer" provides a breathing
space ... just long enough to allow you to think and prevent an emotional train
crash from happening.
It truly gives new meaning to the phrase "Think First,
Speak Later" ...
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"Sizzling Relationships" - the 401(k) of Love
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We spend more time researching our investments than
developing productive relationship strategies ... It's true ... when did you
last research how to relate to your significant other, boss, child, or friend
in a more productive, constructive way? That's why "Sizzling
Relationships" was developed ... to teach you how to increase your
capacity for intimacy, learn the basic tenets of a proactive and loving
relationship, plus how to maintain/increase the "sizzle" in the one
you already have. Take the plunge ... invest in yourself. Get the best time
tested tools, techniques and knowledge to create the changes you want and
maximize the return on your emotional investment. It's the best there is on the
subject ...
For more info or to buy "Sizzling Relationships",
go to
http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/services/item.nhtml?profile=services&UID=82
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Resources:
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"Sizzling Relationships: the 401(k) of Love" is
the handbook for my Love Program. For more information on that therapy program,
go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/relationshipprogram/
Don't forget to explore PsychotherapyHELP for more free
articles and information on therapy. Discover our new media programs - from
relaxation techniques to spiritual mediations to success strategies - my media
programs are great. Go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/services/ for more info
...
Telephone therapy is only a phone call away. Go to
http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/telephonetherapy/ for more information on how to
begin. As always, thank you for your emails and being part of our newsletter
community.
Should prayer be a part of counseling, coaching or therapy?
For more information on Psychospiritual Therapy, go to
http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/prayerproject/.
Warmest regards always,
Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC
PsychotherapyHELP - www.nvo.com/psych_help
email: phannigphd@socal.rr.com
voice: 818.882.7404