Separation Counseling: Questions from the Heart




* Separation Counseling

* A New You is Emerging

* Rising from the Pain

* Finding your Soulmate

* The Wrong One

* Sizzling Relationships



Separation Counseling can help you with important transitions in your relationship life. I've received so many questions about it that I want to share some of my answers with you. In this newsletter, I feature the most common concerns that have been voiced. As always, keep emailing me your questions so that I can feature them in upcoming newsletters.





You may be about to end one phase of your life. Endings also mark a new beginning ... hopefully one that is filled with growth, improvement and advancement. Separation Counseling helps you go from an ending to a new beginning. For example, we are cosmic creatures who possess the DNA blueprint of the universe. Stars die and new ones are born from them. Our star, the sun, is a second or third generation evolutionary creation. Without the destruction of our previous cosmic progenitors, we would not be here right now. Whether that is an advancement or not, I'll leave up to you. But, irrevocability, we are a unique and new creation. So, using the star analogy, the light of your previous relationship is going out and a new star will be born.





Question: "I have gotten very fat and our of shape during my last marriage. How can I change my self and get back into life and find a new partner?"


Just like the star that burned-out and created a new sun, your body deteriorates and you will need a very highly coordinated plan to rehabilitate your body, mind, emotions and strategies. The ending of your burned-out marriage signals a separation and new birth. This process requires intensive self examination, restructuring, and disintegration of the old enmeshments and fusions. Breaking the old bonds is a complex, sometimes painful but necessary prerequisite for building a new you and a new life. You are about to enter a new stage of preparation for higher states of consciousness and a more fulfilling soul bonding.


Some relationships are like bodies. They get misshapened. Reshaping yourself is like resculpting an older work of art. What was once a lump of clay can now become a new creation.





Question: "I am in such pain! Am I really going to come out of this as a new work of art?"


Most definitely! Separation counseling is extremely effective for helping you become a new work of art. You are just about to enter the next stage for soulmate preparation and reconnection. A new life and a new self will be reshaped and given new breath. The Divine resides within and you are about to rededicate the temple of your soul.




Question: "How will I know when I have found the right one?"


A soulmate is one who makes you want to do the righteous thing. Fun to be with, a soulmate brings out the very best in you. There is no contention, argumentative-ness or evil, gloomy, depressed spirits in a soulmate relationship. The soulmate has a core filled with Divine light and the brilliance of the cosmic source. A soulmate does not create trouble. The soulmate brings blessings, skills, talents and creative energies that sparks your love, admiration and respect. A soulmate is completely flexible and pliant -- not hard and brittle. He or she can bend and give in to those matters that cannot be conceded. A soulmate knows how to avoid making major issues out of common occurrences and is a source of marital/relationship joy and a tonic for marital and relationship strife.


A soulmate has no investment in creating warfare. Bullets are returned with flowers. and sweetness overcomes any kind of firepower. A soulmate is a peacemaker, a troublshooter and knows how to defuse warfare. A soulmate knows how to sit down and work out every issue in the most amiable fashion.





Question: So, what is not a soulmate?


A non-soulmate is like a tinderbox ... it only takes a spark to light off a huge explosion. Love, compassion, creativity, peace and mutual deep satisfaction do not embody a non-soulmate's being. Relationship permanance and joy are not at the core of the relationship ... chaos and instability reign in a non-soulmate relationship.





It is hard to believe that millions of people get married every single day and very few have learned the fundamentals of marriage. It is common truth that you cannot master anything until you learn the basic fundamentals. Yet, our culture does not provide an effective vehicle for coaching people how to successfully navigate the mysterious waters of fulfilling, ecstatic marital relationships. Such matters are left to chance.

"Sizzling Relationships/Ecstatic Marriages" is the definitive manual that takes the guesswork out of building and maintaining a sizzling marriage by providing very powerful and specific guidelines for its achievement.


Make these marriage fundamentals the foundation of your relationship and take your relationship to new heights of ecstasy and intimacy by following Dr. Paul's guidelines.


To purchase "Sizzling Relationships/Ecstatic Marriages", go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/services/item.nhtml?profile=services&UID=82





To learn more about Separation Counseling, go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/separationcounseling/


To read more about Personality Disorders, go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/mood1anxiety1personalitydisorders/


Have you read "Soulmates from Hell"? If you are in such a relationship, I recommend my book "Coping with the Disorder". For more info about "Coping with the Disorder", go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/services/item.nhtml?profile=services&UID=60


Telephone Therapy is highly successful. There's no need to go beyond the comfort, convenience, and privacy of your home. For more info, go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/telephonetherapy/


Explore PsychotherapyHELP by going to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/door/. Download free articles, gather in-depth information, and email me with your questions.



It is much easier for me to answer your questions by email. In fact, I may even feature them (anonymously, of course) in one of our newsletters, but only with your permission. So, please contact me directly at phannigphd@socal.rr.com. Since it is difficult during therapy hours to answer your questions by telephone, email seems to work out best. So, keep those questions coming over the internet.


Warmest Regards,

Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC


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mailto:phannigphd@socal.rr.com voice: 818.882.7404