PSYCHOTHERAPYHELP NEWS -- May 2005
Runaway Bride or BPD?
IN THIS ISSUE
** BPD Characteristics
** Almost Perfect?
** BPD Irresponsibility
** A Second Chance?
** BPD a Medical Disease?
** New CD Program: "Metamorphosis: Time for a Change"
Ah ... the news is buzzing with the disappearance and return of Jennifer Wilbank. Just a runaway bride? I don't think so. Could the circumstances and the premeditation of her disappearance smack of something much deeper: Borderline Personality Disorder? I want to thank my readers for sending in their questions and I will attempt to answer them in this newsletter. Please continue to contact me ... I'll try to address your concerns in future newsletters.
** Is This Saga of the Missing Bride, Jennifer Wilbank, just another case of Borderline Personality Disorder?
I am not permitted to render a diagnosis about someone with whom I have not had sufficient clinical interviews. However, I can make a provisional assessment based on my interpretations of information as presented by the media. As the story develops and unfolds, it does contain elements suggestive of a borderline cluster meltdown.
** Can You Elaborate on that?
In my book, "Borderline Personality Disorder: A Profile," I list several characteristics common to borderline cluster behaviors. First, there is the feeling of being over-whelmed and then trying to escape from such feelings by "Acting Out." Deception is part of the act out, followed by a complete ignorance and denial of the effects of one's behavior on other people. This lack of empathy and sensitivity to the hurt imposed by the acting out person is somewhat characteristic of the narcissistic side of borderline regression.
** But, the Family of Jennifer Wilbank seemed to insist that she was an almost perfect person. Have you encountered that scenario?
It is not unusual for many disordered families to present to the world a false façade of perfect functioning. I have worked with many borderlines who insist that they are perfect, right and without blemish. They reinforce this denial by using the mechanism of blaming others and outside forces for their acting out and extremely dishonest and destructive behavior. Many borderline personalities have developed very charming, charismatic, attractive and seductive frontline personas. Don't be fooled by this front. Remember that old maxim, "Don't judge a book by its cover!" Beauty on the outside may just be a cover up for a lot of destructive, evil and distorted internal impulses. Borderlines do act impulsively and seem to lack neocortical self-control and judgment. They are emotionally immature, depressed, anxious and infantile in their coping mechanisms.
** This Lying and Deception Seems Intended to Cover Up and Dismiss Self-Responsibility for unacceptable feelings. What role does irresponsibility Play in Borderline Acting Out?
The underlying feelings of fear, betrayal, deception, lying and depression reveal a sinister regressive dark side to the borderline personality. Simple honest discussion and problem resolution are entertained and are instead, replaced by dangerous acting out drama that causes a lot of trouble for everyone involved.
* Would You Recommend that the Partner of such a Personality Disturbed Individual Should Give them a Second Chance?
The decision to do anything is always up to the individual. But, I would personally listen very closely to the danger signals being sent by borderline behavior. Trouble reveals itself by acting out behavior and looks for ways for establishing a revolving door, cyclic returning of more trouble. I do not believe that highly regressed borderline people are really suitable for intimate relationships. The prospect of more intimacy, that is anticipated in a close relationship, is like a gunpowder trigger. It will set off an explosion, hurt feelings and chaos. Unstable feelings and chronic swinging back and forth are the pure ingredients for insanity. Why volunteer for such a struggle?! The best hedge against borderline destruction is knowledge about the disorder. The good news is: exposure to borderline phenomenon is a good, but painful way for learning how to advance to higher spiritual consciousness. Borderline phenomena is unstable at the first and second chakra levels. Partners and ex-lovers of borderlines have an opportunity to grow spiritually and eventually realize true soulmate coupling. The end result can be a union and a life characteristic of the spiritual realm called Paradise. But, be prepared to spend certain amounts of time in relationship/spiritual hell as a required training ground for advanced cosmic consciousness.
** Is a Borderline Cluster Disorder a Medical Disease?
Yes and no ... On one hand, childhood trauma should be emphasized. But, the evil, disordered behavior can never be fully accepted. So, you have this ambivalent mix of empathy for the inner traumatic pain, coupled with aversion for the destructive parts of the self. Personally, I have great empathy for the acknowledged inner pain of the borderline. I have absolutely no tolerance for the outward destructive behavior and the sinister internal demons of the borderline.
It is helpful to view borderline personality cluster disorders as being medical. It is also a group of disorders characterized by disturbances in spirit, soul, emotion and thinking. Because of the combination of all of these factors, people who suffer from borderline cluster disorders, have great trouble with interpersonal relationships and feelings concerning identity. Disruptions in the neocortex make it very difficult for borderline individuals to monitor and control destructive impulses. Medical treatment is certainly recommended, along with relationship, spiritual, nutritional, cognitive and deep feeling therapies.
** NEW CD Program: "Metamorphosis"
"Metamorphosis: Time for a Change"" is one of my new CD programs. It is absolutely mind boggling, wonderful, and emotion evoking. It focuses on how to maintain and sustain stability of mood and mind through profound learning principles and guided meditations. Layered with beautiful music, "Metamorphosis" will lift your spirit and your soul.
It is healing ... excellent for those with BPD, partners of BPD, and those who wish to change their internal and external circumstances. Dr. Hannig has done all the work for you. Just sit back, listen, take in the meditations, reflect on the prayer in Psalms 101, and experience a whole new perspective. Then, watch your life change!
SPECIAL: order "Borderline Personality Disorder" and "Metamorphosis" for only $22 plus shipping! Email to ask us how. For more information, go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/services/item.nhtml?profile=services&UID=99
Go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/mood1anxiety1personalitydisorders/ to read more about Personality Disorders ...
Go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/soulmatesfromhell/ to read "Soulmates from Hell". If you are in such a relationship, I recommend my book "Coping with the Disorder". Go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/services/item.nhtml?profile=services&UID=60 for more info about "Coping with the Disorder".
Telephone Therapy is highly successful. There's no need to go beyond the comfort, convenience, and privacy of your home. Go to http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/telephonetherapy/ for more info ...
Explore PsychotherapyHELP. Download free articles, gather in-depth information, and email me with your questions. Click http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/door/ to go to PsychotherapyHELP ...
It is much easier for me to answer your questions by email. In fact, I may even feature them (anonymously, of course) in one of our newsletters, but only with your permission. So, please contact me directly at email@example.com. Since it is difficult during therapy hours to answer your questions by telephone, email seems to work out best. So, keep those questions coming over the internet.
Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC