in this issue
Greetings!
Don't you just love it?! Let's talk about you...
and you as a couple. Matters of the Heart ... And I don't mean
cholesterol levels, arteries and blood pressure.
I'm talking about why and how you select a
mate!
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THE
LOVE PROGRAM
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No matter which way you look at it, finding a partner in the
dance of life is certainly a great challenge ... sometimes mixed with great
ecstasy and at other times, you would think that you married or at least
involved yourself with the Antichrist.
What happens when you and/or your partner (or your partner
to be) create Barriers to Intimacy?! Isn't it frustrating to
have your need to love and be loved blocked and dislodged by unconscious
defenses and resistances ... Especially your own?
At whatever level of your love journey that you find yourself, you
might be engaged in the process of moving from your peripheral levels of
consciousness to the deepest reaches of your mind/heart/soul. Working
with me certainly opens you and your potential/real partner to your
conscious and unconscious worlds ...
If you are going to work with me, you'll get an enormous
opportunity to deeply explore yourself (No innuendos, please) and yourself as a
bonding couple....
It is here that you will discover your real needs, the
real needs of your partner and how to go about reaching mutual reciprocal
fulfillment. It is
here that your longings, illusions and disappointments will be
uncovered, as well as your triumphs and effective strategies. It is here that you will learn how
you and your partner come together from vastly different family systems and
attempt to mold those two systems into a perfectly new and workable
relationship.
For
more information on the Love Program, click here ...
It is also here that you will learn the difference between
real, appropriate need fulfillment as compared to the struggle to get
neurotic, unreal needs met.
(Ask me about the use of the GENOGRAM for premarital screening
and family systems exploration)
You'll also learn the various stages and levels that you are
currently engaged in with yourself and your partner ... you'll also learn how
to negotiate getting through the various stages and moving on and up the ladder
to greater intimacy. I will also make you aware of you and your partner's
personal and universal themes ... Not to mention your mutual quest for entering
into a strong sense of identity, while expressing your sexuality as you
seek and find sexual fulfillment in a safe, honest and faithful
relationship.
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CULTURAL
DIFFERENCES
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In todays world, many lovers come together from different
cultural backgrounds. If cultural issues are not worked out, blights, doubts
and holes could exist in your relationship. Given today's conditions, the
concept of culture has to be redefined and expanded beyond its traditional
definitions. (Did you know that the very experience you receive in therapy may
actually constitute a subculture orientation and mentality?) Your therapist's
multicultural training as well as his or her's philosophical, practical and
theoretical orientation can influence your ever evolving cultural view.
Let me help you resolve your own cultural issues, your
partner's and how your diverse cultural backgrounds impact your relationship.
Assignment: How are you and your
culturally different partner resolving your diverse cultural backgrounds? Are
you even discussing it? Or has sex and passion gotten in the way? You will have
to address your cultural differences, sooner or later. What are the different
attitudes, beliefs and feelings of your family of origin towards your diverse
backgrounds? Did you know that there are cultural differences within
specifically defined cultures? Do cultural differences cross over financial,
neighborhood, professional and class lines?
How do your cultural differences impact upon
you and your partner through gender, expectations, power and parenting ideals?
You and your partner deserve and may even require an opportunity
to work in depth on yourself and the relationship. In working with me, I
can explore with you the various theoretical, practical and effective
strategies that I employ. One thing's for sure, I will provide you with
growth facilitating, tailormade interventions and strategies to meet your
needs, as an individual ... and as a couple ... while recognizing
that you are engaged in a dynamic changing situation.
Click here to browse and download any of the free
articles that are offered at PsychotherapyHELP ...
To
browse any of our previous PsychotherapyHELP Newsletters, click here ...
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THE
BENEFITS OF A MULTILEVEL THERAPY
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A multilevel therapy opens up spaces within yourself, your
partner and the relationship. This type of therapy provides you with the
willingness and the skills to engage in multilevel, empathic, constructive
listening and exquisite fine tuning to the needs of your relationship. The
elimination of the fear to deep commitment permits each of you to regulate your
internal distress, while you gain emotional maturity. This gives you the
opportunity to Know and Appreciate Self and Other.
Current relationship demands require
extraordinary skills for developing intimacy with mutually empowering bonds
that allow you to sustain a happy and fulfilling relationship over a lifetime.
As an assignment, see if you can recognize distinct symptoms
and patterns in yourself, your partner and your relationship. After you have
done that, try to trace the symptoms and patterns to the bottom line (heart) of
your issues. Can you recognize the defenses that keep intimacy in your
relationship at bay? Do you notice certain defenses that justify maintaining
the status quo, sooth past insecurities and that unconsciously mask trauma,
misattunement and neglect? ... How do you and your partner block each
other from gaining full access to your real selves?
Mutually
acknowledge what you do that is right and constructive in your relationship.
Are you keeping your love reservoirs filled to overflowing?
Until
the next time ...
Warmly,
Paul
J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFCC
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Paul J. Hannig,
Ph.D. MFCC - PsychotherapyHELP - www.nvo.com/psych_help
10170-4 Larwin Avenue, Chatsworth,
CA 91311
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email: phannigphd@socal.rr.com
voice: 818.882.7404
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