Paul J. Hannig, PhD. MFT





your Life … your Sex Life … your Spouse … your Marriage ... your Work …



I'll bet there were times in your life when YOU were very EXCITED about something. Do you remember how that felt? Resurrect those feelings and memories when you felt excited about something. You probably believed that there was some sort of external stimulus that caused you to feel excited. But, what if I were to tell you that your excitement was created by the most important person in your life -- You! Yes, that's true! You made a decision to get excited about you and your life.


When you talk to your spouse on the phone, do you choose the words that excite you and your partner or do you use the same old non-feeling, lifeless clichés and phrases? Do you INFUSE your children with your excitement about their future possibilities? How about the people that you work with? Do you MOTIVATE them to get excited about working with you and living their lives to the fullest?


The following guidelines are dedicated to putting YOU back in High Emotional Gear!


·         FIND YOUR POWER! It is in your conscious choice to decide to inject your buried excitement into your life, your conversations, your job and your most important relationships---- Your marriage, your children, co-workers, and the people who come in contact with you during the course of your life.


  • USE THE EXCITEMENT YOU WERE BORN WITH! Picture in your mind a small child who can hardly speak language. Yet, he is so filled with enthusiasm, energy and excitement. Even, when he is sick, he can't wait to get up and do things with excitement.


  • Where does all that Dynamic Energy come from? It's innate! Yes, that's right. It's wired in by evolution. Children are born with innate excitement for everything. It isn't until the world starts to curb this extreme excitement, that these kids calm down and becomes civilized. Hey! You were once a kid. Did you know that that kid is still inside of you trying to come out and get excited about something? Maybe, it is time for you to acknowledge that you want to get Excited About You. Is it time to put excitement into your marriage, your work and the very essence of who you are?


  • GET EXCITED ABOUT LIVING! Did you know that the WORLD wants and needs YOU to get excited about life? If you could be honest with yourself for one minute, you would admit that you need to inject some of that excitement into your life, your marriage, and your work. Why are you holding back? Somewhere along the way, you lost your excitement for living. Perhaps, you were waiting for Santa Claus or God to come along and inject enthusiasm into your spirit. Well, if that's what it takes, then ask Santa Claus or God to bring life back into your life. Just the mere fact of asking will put you in the position of receiving. You are not helpless and powerless. So, stop being the only drag on your life and make the long-awaited decision to get excited about living.


  • CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE! To Life, to Life, L'Chaym.. l'Chayim.. L'Chayim.. to Life.... Etc. etc. I guess Tevya, from Fiddler On The Roof knew something when he sang that song even though he was poor and getting up in years. He found something to celebrate -- his life! You are alive. Isn't it time to celebrate that fact? Treating your life as something precious and rare gives you reason to get excited and grateful about being alive. Do you excite your spouse with your excitement? Do you excite your children with your excitement for life? Do you excite your co-workers with your absolute passion for what you're doing?


  • GET THE PAIN OUT OF THE WAY! Cry and release the feelings that keep you from getting excited about life. If you are emotionally and spiritually dead, you did that to you. You can change that, simply by making the decision to live.


  • Infuse your life with passion, excitement and dynamic energy. I don't mean that you should get manic. That's going overboard and besides the crash could kill you. I mean going to the very core of yourself and expressing those feelings that will allow you to worship life and deciding that you are going to live it to the fullest.


  • BE GRATEFUL! Stop the self-pity and the drowning in your own self-created problems. Thank life for all that it has given to you and will continue to give you. The alternative stinks!


  • Stop blaming God for all of your misfortune. By now, you know that blaming doesn't accomplish anything. But, expressing gratitude for everything that you are and will be can free you up to love and be successful in whatever you choose to infuse yourself in. If it's your marriage, your job-- what ever! Decide to make "It" work. So, if you get stuck, work your way through the frustration, talk to who you have to talk to and brainstorm solutions. Give up unfair fight tactics like "Yes, but... I'm right, you're wrong... He said, she said.... He did this, she did that... I'm good, you’re bad.... I'm the victim, you're the devil... I'm well, your sick "


  • LIVE YOUR DREAMS! Did you know that successful people get to be successful because of their excitement? Years ago, a young teenager swept floors in a North Philadelphia ghetto car painting shop. He learned how to get excited about his own goals. Today, his car painting franchises cover the national map. Right now there is a 24-year-old stock boy who has a handicap. But, he has excitement for life. His enthusiasm and love of life will take him up the career ladder and someday he may be the CEO of one of the largest chain stores in the universe. Everybody starts at the bottom. But, excitement will drive you to the top of your potentials, your dreams, your ambitions, and your goals. There is no stopping you, except you! Decide what you want and decide that you are going to get there and how you are going to do it.


  • DEVELOP A PLAN! Without a plan, you will fail. It doesn't matter whether you are a housewife, college student, midlevel corporate manager or a vagrant on the street. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.


  • Marriage on the rocks? Save it and put it into the stratosphere. It's either hell or heaven. You choose! Superior planning is the only way to take yourself out of the rut and catapult yourself into the world of relationship ecstasy.


  • Want a blissful relationship? Plan and work hard for it. Choose only those strategies that work and eliminate what contaminates your life, your work and your relationships.  (Click on my web site… and order "Sizzling Relationships/Ecstatic Marriages."}


  • Learn from the experts! They started at the bottom and learned how to excite themselves about their work, marriages and family life. The man who created this program, built an empire of happiness, joy and successful relationships. He knows the secrets just like other successful people who have enthusiastically dedicated themselves to learning what makes things work.


  • PRIORITIZE YOUR NEEDS! Do you have a plan and a method for working on yourself, your career, and your most important relationships? Make a list of your most important needs. Be honest about your needs and be willing to communicate them to other people who are in a position of fulfilling them. Make it a priority to prioritize. If you don't prioritize, you disorganize. Stop neglecting yourself by putting everyone else before you. Develop a plan for working on yourself. If you neglect your inner light, you lose your feelings, your spirit and your source of insight. Make it a habit to work on yourself, your relationships, and your work every single day. Study the approaches to self-centering and connection to your inner source. Pick the methods that work for you and give yourself full permission to experiment. There is no success without research. Get excited about researching your full connection to yourself.


  • MAKE DECISIONS AND DON’T PROCRASTINATE! Make a conscious decision about what areas of your life you need to work on. Whatever you neglect will come back to haunt you later. If you are not working on your marriage, yourself and your career, your procrastination will make you pay a big price later. If you aren't excited about the most important things in your life, you'll need a mechanic later on, to fix what's broken. It's time to pay attention to what you need to "Get." If you missed it the first time around, you'll need a touch up refresher course to excite you to the possibilities. Fortunately, events in life revolve in a circular pattern. What goes around comes around and you need to get excited about accomplishing your goals right now. Get It!


  • TAKE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE! You need to take complete control of your time if you want to have control over your life. A successful life is one where you have control over the events that make up your life. These events take place within time. Of course, you'll tell me that you don't have enough time to do what you feel needs to be done. This usually means that what is really important to you never gets accomplished because you have never learned how to prioritize and organize the events in your life.


  • DON’T PROCRASTINATE! Procrastination is a nasty visitor who stays for a long time and you never end up doing what you need to do. By prioritizing and organizing the events in your 24-hour day, nothing important will be neglected. Things of lesser priority may have to be sacrificed a little bit until you bring yourself up to snuff. The results will bring inner peace, an ecstatic sense of self, a blissful married life, and a family of joy and productivity.


I am not saying that you should be perfect and problem free. That's not going to happen. But, if you have a system for managing events according to your timeline, you will be successful. Consistent daily planning increases your focus and leverages your time. Decide to become a successful person who takes charge of time and can control your life.



Copyright 2010, Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D.