Go see for yourself... Our friend the Cliffmeister leads us on a merry chase after a wayward orb of some previous fidelity, now gone astray...
Subject Terra Cotta Moon... But Can She Keep It Date
Wed Sep 8 2004 13:03
Author CliffMickelson
(cmicke1065@aol.com)
Greetings, Potentially Poleaxed Pottery Paladins!
Gather ye 'round the office water cooler and lean in close, (y'all) ...I've a secret to share with everyone!
An often repeated and despairing refrain frequently heard among we hard working, debt ridden, social class slipping, Americans is:
"Gee, this world sure sucks"!
Yes....de' Nile is a wonderful thing!
Those five simple words have served scads of American generations quite well as a whipping post for all their problems, and additionally.... They have saved the US Fuedal....er...I mean 'Federal' Government from it's burdensome task of having to account for it's own invisible servitude!
But sadly, my fellow mortals, all good working arrangements come to an end, eh?
Just when you thought it was safe to usher your children into the darkening world of the lumpen-proletariat, along comes an unexpected spanner on a pale horse and all your preconceived cozy TV constipation's...(oops)... I mean ... conceptions, seem to just come to a gut wrenching stop!
So what's a downwardly mobile Middle-class parent to do?
And furthermore...(to truly overuse a cliche!)
Just when you thought the world REALLY sucks, along comes some wise guy like me to shatter all your comfy conventionalities!
Guess what folks; The world may not suck as much as it used to!
In fact, it may be sucking less and less. At this rate, it's quite likely that poor old Terra may need to use a straw if she wishes to hold on much longer to her biggest capital investment....The moon!
Recent lunar anomalies fade to insignificance in the face of this latest possible twist to earth's silvery satellite!
Because....
Not only is the moon (as seen from the earth) apparently rotating counterclockwise, the entire orb now appears to have developed a slight, (ever so slight) rotational twist.
In other words, It's own natural rotation is speeding up.
OR...
(shock and awe) Earth's rotation is grinding down?
Now, being the brave soul that I am, I'm going to hazard a wild guess here and say:
"This is not a good thing"
I first noticed the phenomena occurring on the night of Sept. 1.
At the time, my blood sugar was low, so I refrained from over-amping on any conclusions.
Last night however, I fortified myself with an extended pit stop at Baskin-Robbins and then ventured forth into the night to see what God hath wrought!
What God hath "wrought" was soon "writ" across the heavens!
And this brings me to my second "wild guess" (which is......)
He's pissed!
For the second night in a row, features on the surface of the moon moved out of view as the evening progressed!
This Aspertain induced illusion now abides unalloyed!
So, you see....
Rejoice, my rapturous fellow Americans!
This likely means that the world is no longer sucking as much as it used to!
The Earth's gravity is more likely doing one, (or a combination of) the following illegal acts:
a) weakening unaccountably
b) Being counteracted by something else much larger....
c) Being artificially lowered by the Federal Reserve
Or....
d) Is filing for bankruptcy due to overextended line of credit!
There is also the remote possibility that God is invoking the secret contractual clause in this arrangement, which is:
e) All of the above!
Only time will tell. The question is: How much of that rare "timely" commodity is left to we perpetually over-leveraged earthlings?
Unlike fiat credit, additional extensions of "time" are much more difficult to come by.
When you've used up your heaven-sent allotment of time my friends, it's generally a safe bet that that's all there is ... and ... there ain't no more!
